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The other day, my sister’s friend invited her to a different yoga studio for a class.  “I can’t do it”, said my sister. “I’d love to, but I’m not good enough. I suck.”   Fear shows up in funny ways. Tory pictures an entire class pointing at her and sneering.   This made me laugh for about four seconds. Then I realized that whenever a new challenge comes my way – going back to class after weeks away, trying a new kind of yoga, going to a different studio – my immediate, insane response is, “I can’t, I’m too fat.” This is obviously absurd. There is no sign posted anywhere in yoga that says Stay Out If You Think You Are Pudgy .  Nor have I met a yoga mat that hasn’t welcomed my solid thighs. (Oh my god, the mats are too small for my lardy bum! I’ll have to put four of them together!)  Nor, come to think of it, have I ever encountered a yoga teacher who raises one eyebrow and says, “Oh, you think so, do you? If you were enlightened enough to be in my class, you’d be thin.  Now stop crying. You can come to my Class For The Fat and Unenlightened .”    Absurd, excessive, twisted, completely un-constructive, I know. But these are the trolls that leap up from under my bridge when I’m facing something new and scary. Or old and scary for that matter. I like stating my fear out loud. It looks more ridiculous than ever that way. Gives it a loving kick in the head. I suck. I’m too this, too that. Do you have a fear that yoga brings to light? Would you like to kick it in the head? Thanks to yoga for showing me where and how I’d like to be more fearless, and thanks to you for the conversation. Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (about All Things Wonderful) from North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on Facebook at Dr. Kristin Shepherd or on Twitter at kristinwonders.

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Yoga Trolls

It doesn’t really matter where you practice, as long as you do. Right? Right. But having practiced yoga everywhere from a church basement to a plush studio to a mountaintop on the outskirts of Katmandu, there’s something to be said for creating a welcoming atmosphere for spiritual practice. The same goes for creating a nurturing and inspiring place for our children to hang out and play and sleep. When Neil and I had Lucien, we were temporarily living in a sublet in Brooklyn. Arranging Lucien’s “nursery” involved setting up a co-sleeper next to our bed. (He ended up sleeping in our bed those first six months, nestled between a yoga bolster on one side and mommy on the other.) Next, we moved to Vancouver and rented a furnished one-bedroom apartment. Neil set up Lucien’s crib in the walk-in closet of our bedroom, and I put some decals on the wall – an airplane, a pink moose. While I loved exploring new places (we were in New York for Neil’s academic leave from Harvard, and moved to Vancouver for his new job at the University of British Columbia), I couldn’t wait to settle down and make a proper nursery for Lucien. The truth was I was completely envious when I walked into my friends’ baby rooms in Boston and Los Angeles. Poor Lucien in his closet!  Of course, he didn’t care or know the difference. At that age he just wanted to be close to his mama and dada.   When Lucien was almost one, on Halloween, we moved into our house – a fixer upper that came filled with character, potential, and a never ending to do list. My first priority was Lucien’s room. We painted the walls with a non-toxic pale green and yellow paint, bought an  IKEA rocking chair   for his nursing corner, and got him some rolling see-through containers for his toys and books.  Since then, I’ve added and subtracted to the room. At  Collage Collage , where I take Lucien for art class, we picked up posters from local artists. Now that Lucien has weaned, the rocking chair is in the living room, and on our summer vacation on Vancouver Island I came across a super cheap stash of vintage children’s chairs, a handmade wooden table, and some old school books and toys that are now my favorite things in his room. Just as I feel at home and at peace in my upstairs yoga corner, Lucien seems content to hang out in his room for hours- playing, singing, reading books, and just generally chilling in his pajamas. Where in your house or apartment do you – and your children – feel most comfortable, most creative, and most inspired?  Jessica Berger Gross is the author of  enLIGHTened:   How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse),  she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Making Room

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In the September issue, we published a letter written by the esteemed yoga teacher and Yoga Journal co-founder Judith Hanson Lasater, which expressed her disapproval of advertisements featuring naked women. It’s been a hot topic ever since, and it seems appropriate to offer a few thoughts. First, I greatly respect Judith and her concerns. Over the years, we’ve had conversations about the magazine, the business, the community. More than once, she has called me to share an opinion, in her trademark direct style, and we talked about her September letter before I published it. I appreciate her frankness. I interpreted Judith’s formal note about ads that she feels “exploit the sexuality of young women in order to sell products” to be a message both to the folks at Yoga Journal who make advertising decisions,  (I am responsible for editorial direction only, I have no authority over advertising)–and to the larger community, including the creators of the ads. Clearly Judith’s letter struck a chord, and I’ve read the opinions of many people who agree with her views. Others have written specifically in support of what they see as the artistic beauty of the ToeSox ads ,  in particular, which feature the talented yoga teacher and frequent Yoga Journal contributor Kathryn Budig demonstrating poses in the buff. The diversity of reader opinion isn’t surprising, given the diversity of the yoga community today and the highly subjective nature of the matter at hand. But somewhere in all the heated blog posts about whether nudity equals exploitation and about what Yoga Journal ’s advertising policies should be, I’ve seen a fair bit of frustration and misunderstanding about Yoga Journal’ s role in the community. Over the past 35 years, Yoga Journal has evolved from a nonprofit publication aimed at yoga teachers to a popular magazine read by more than 2 million Americans and supported by national advertising. Perhaps the biggest difference between the magazine Judith founded and the one I edit today is that while Yoga Journal continues to be a source of instruction and insight on yogic practices, it is now also a chronicle of the ever-evolving yoga scene–a scene that didn’t exist 35 years ago and one that some old-time practitioners would, quite frankly, find un-yogic. Yoga Journal doesn’t intend to be a textbook of ancient practices, nor an arbiter of yogic morality. It’s a magazine that introduces people to a world of ideas–sometimes profound, life-changing ideas that they might not otherwise be exposed to. It’s a messy time to be in the business of covering yoga. Some yoga publications that offered a purist’s view of the practice are no longer in print, while “workout yoga” is popular on the newsstand. Yoga Journal remains devoted to bringing a full spectrum of teachings to a wide audience, and it does so while walking the age-old line of art and commerce. Spiritual teachers often say that while monkhood requires practicing austerities, it is actually easier to live in a cave than to practice yoga while living in the world; it’s tough to maintain a quiet mind when deadlines loom, when the kids meltdown, when all kinds of distractions beg for your attention. Yoga Journal lives out in that world–tackling real-life issues of finances, politics (yes, politics in the world of yoga!), and the sometimes-clashing ideals of the yoga community. I’m proud that amid all the chaos, the magazine continues to focus on delivering wise teachings and practical tools for bringing the essence of yoga into our daily lives. We are grateful to have the support of the teaching community, including Judith and the many other dedicated teachers who share the depth of their knowledge through our pages, and the support of our advertisers, which enables us to continue offering world-class instruction, insight, and inspiration for practice. As always, we hope that the magazine we work so hard to bring to you, serves you well. –Kaitlin Quistgaard Editor in Chief , Yoga Journal

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Naked Truths: YJ’s Editor-in-Chief Responds to the Nudity Debate

Last week, my friend and manager, Ava, and I left Wanderlust and took a road trip from Lake Tahoe through Napa Valley and into San Francisco, where I was scheduled to teach a workshop.   Taking a trip like this was fun and freeing–something I hadn’t done since college. I’ve traveled, sure, but mostly on airplanes and highways. It’s been a long time since I’ve stopped to smell the roses, literally, or walked through vineyards, wandered without an agenda, and taken my time getting where I needed to go.   When I left more space around the journey itself, rather than seeing it as useless time between my starting place and my destination, a whole new world opened up. We turned off the highway and into local communities and had adventures I never would have had otherwise, like singing impromptu karaoke into a straw at a local pub or eating an incredible meal at Bouchon in Yountville. A few times we turned off the GPS and just tuned into where our hearts told us to go next. We were led unerringly toward something life-affirming and just right.     It was an experience similar to the one I aim to offer my students during yoga class. I’ve often asked them to pause and even play during the transitions between poses, those moments we often rush through on our way to the “goal” pose. The word “tapas” means “heat,” but it also symbolizes the space we make with the energy and awareness we bring to the present moment. When we release our grasp on achieving the goal and wake up to what’s going on every step of the way, we begin to see how fully we’re surrounded by exactly what we need to evolve, to be happy and fulfilled, and to love our lives.   What you do before you get into a pose dictates its quality once you arrive. It’s the same in your life: The millions of smaller actions you take will determine the strength–or shakiness–of the foundation underneath the more showy milestones of your life.   In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that if you’re not bringing a consistency of mindfulness, spaciousness, and quality action into your transitional periods, you may not reach your goals after all.   If you want to be a financial advisor, but you’re irresponsible with your own money, it’s unlikely that any clients will trust you with theirs. If you do reach your goal on a shaky foundation, it’s far more likely that your dreams will crumble around you, undermined from the very roots (hello, Bernie Madoff!).   Instead, what we yogis practice both on and away from the mat, is making sure that we pay attention to the entirety our lives, not just the parts; and doing so most of the time instead of just sporadically. It’s as simple as taking a deep breath and reminding ourselves that we’re here now. We stop time-traveling to the past or future when we learn that the only thing that will determine our future movement is what we do right now.   This inner road trip is the key to living out loud and enjoying your life holistically today. Not when you have the man, the cash, or have lost that last 10 pounds. Why wait? The power you have to self-generate satisfaction is waiting for you to see it, claim it, and act from it. When you stop, look around, and listen to your deepest wisdom in the space you’ve created, you will suddenly, sweetly realize:You are everything you need.   Here’s a transition that I’ve made into its own pose, to exemplify that every moment is pivotal, not just the flashy, more obvious ones. There’s a whole universe of strengthening and freedom to be found right here, on the journey within.   Core Pose: Parsvakonasana (Extended Side Angle Pose) with Core Circles Variation   When you go straight into Side Angle Pose from Warrior 2, the tendency can be to enter the asana with a over-curved lower back, front ribs jutting forward, and the back body constricted. To re-enter the pose with a more centered alignment and free the habitual hip, low back, upper back, and shoulder tension it can create, we need to exit it, or as I often say in class, back off to move forward.   First, come into the pose from Warrior 2 with your forearm on the front thigh and your other arm over your ear. Notice how your lower back and shoulders feel. Are you core-connected or are your shoulder blades, back muscles, and legs doing most of the work?   Begin to circle your top arm back behind you. Take it down toward the floor and, as you do, turn your torso toward the floor and draw your low belly away from your front thigh and upward, into your sternum. This will activate your core strength, bring length to the tailbone, support to the lower back, and also open the gateway of your front hip joint. You’re not pressing out the low back curve at all with this move, but supporting it from the front of the spine as well as from the back.   Continue to sweep your arm forward now and back up over your ear. Press your feet down strongly; maintain the stability, shoulder fluidity, and core awareness you cultivated during the transition; and enjoy new strength, freedom and areas of stretch releasing in your new, more intentional goal of a pose.                      

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The Road Within

Uh oh. Who would have guessed that 10 months into my yoga life, I’d lead a class? Well, a small class. Three of us and a dog named Emma. At a cottage. I may not know what I’m doing when it comes to yoga, but neither did they, and we all felt certain we’d come to no harm. So we gathered on a deck looking over Big Marten Lake on a gloriously blue Saturday morning. We started with a few Sun Salutations, followed by variations on Sun Salutations. We flowed gently from posture to posture, plank to Chattarunga to upward dog to downward dog. I gave them every tip I could remember (shoulder blades down, inner thighs rotating backward, rooting through hands and feet) and made up several extra. More than once, Jenni said, don’t you mean my left leg forward? And isn’t it the right foot pivoting this time? (I am far more dyslexic than I imagined.) We moved onto slower poses, a ridiculous rendition of yin yoga – ridiculous given that I have not once attended a yin class.  I watch my lovely man do his poses at home and thought they’d be fun to try with my friends. Class was a rousing success. Until day two. During our Sun Salutations, neither Sue nor Jenni can move gently from plank to chattarunga. Not even the first time. Sue says, I don’t remember doing this yesterday. We did, I tell her. We did exactly the same thing. “It didn’t hurt like this,” Jenni says. “Hurt like what?” I ask. “Like hell,” she says, “pointing to her chest and arms.  It hurts like absolute hell.” “It’ll get better,” I tell them, hoping it’s true. And through every Sun Salutation (and we only do five), they collapse like big bags of potatoes from plank to Chattarunga. Smack. Slam. Thud. Thwack. Bang. Crash. The new sounds of yoga. We laughed so hard I thought I’d blow a bhanda. Great lessons from chattathwack yoga: 1.  Yeah for the shoulder and arm strength that comes with practice!!!! 2.  I adore sharing yoga. My only goal in leading the class was for them to want to do it again the following day. They did. Sort of. 3.  Yeah for real teachers, who know right from left, how to start slowly, and how to let us laugh. Have you taught, those of you who aren’t teachers yet?  I’d love to hear about it. Thanks to yoga, for fun on vacation, and thanks to you for the conversation. Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, speaker, and workshop wonderwoman in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her at kristinshepherd.ca or on Facebook at Dr. Kristin Shepherd.

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Teaching!

There are days – pushing my stroller up a steep hill, scooping dog poop while answering the phone, trying to meet writing deadlines while Lucien plays at my feet, managing outings and baths and meals and schedules, not to mention making time for my yoga practice-when I could almost forget. How hard it was getting here. It was hard for me to become a mother, excruciatingly so. (Now, in comparison, is the easy part.) Neil and I married when I was 30, and though it seemed prudent to wait to try and have a baby-for our careers to become more stable, to have more of an income, to settle down in one city -I wanted to get started right away.  Maybe deep down I knew. After six months of trying, I became pregnant. We lived in Los Angeles at the time and immediately I changed everything. My diet: Goodbye coffee, hello egg salad sandwiches. My asana practice: so long Mysore series, hello Iyengar. Even the way I thought of myself changed in the instant I saw that plus on the pregnancy stick. In a flash I went from struggling would-be writer to contented mom-to-be. That pregnancy was seven years ago. At eight-and-a-half weeks (that half week was as important to me then as Lucien’s “half” a year after his two years is to me now) I went to the doctor for my first ultrasound. In that fancy office in Beverly Hills I sat feeling out of place but confident in my impending motherhood as I flipped the pages of the magazines laid out in the waiting room. And then the exam. There was no heartbeat. What followed was an everyday nightmare that I know many of you reading this have been through-the blood work and waiting, the D & C, the endless and unexpected free fall of grief. It took a long time for me to heal. One thing that helped was working on my first book, an anthology I edited, About What Was Lost: 20 Writers on Miscarriage, Healing, and Hope . I wrote my story and collected others.  Hearing women’s stories, immersing myself in them, steeled me as I spent the next several years determined to become a mother, but not sure how or when or some days, if, I would. Yoga helped too. In class I felt cared for and comforted, and on good days I felt that everything would be all right. (On the bad days I stared in envy at the gorgeous pregnant women in class, on the really bad days I cried at home on my mat, and on the worst days I stayed in bed.) Now, all these years later, I have my beautiful boy.  As he sings to me and as we snuggle and make believe, and even when I get so exhausted from keeping up with him that I need to collapse in front of hours of reality television in a pop culture coma, I remember, and I feel for all the women (and men) out there struggling-whether with IVF cycles or adoption waiting lists or simply the monthly still-negative pregnancy tests. I’m sending love to all of you and prayers that soon you’ll be with the children you are meant to parent. And believe me, I know how lucky I am. Do you have a story to share? Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Remembering

I know there are branches of yoga. I know most of us are focused on the physical branch. Some multi-branched yogis don’t love our primary focus on the physical. I think it’s all right. Here’s why: I began with Hatha yoga. But it doesn’t take long before I realize, without any teaching, that yoga has at least a second branch for me. Let’s call my two branches outside yoga and inside yoga. The physical is outside. I love its strength and flexibility, its warmth, love the physical buzzy calm after my practice. At some point on the trip, outside yoga introduced me to inside yoga, a kind of calm, accepting, eyeball-dissolving something, so often accompanied by huge sighs the end of class. And just as the physical branch teaches itself to me, class by class, the inside branch works its way through me, too, telling me a thing or two or twenty that I didn’t see at first. Like the fact that I don’t feel inner peace after every class. In fact sometimes I’m as relaxed as all get out during class and then my head races during Savasana. Go figure. And sometimes I find that lovely, floaty peace without doing a physical practice at all. Sometimes it shows up out of nowhere, while I’m driving or eating or scratching the dog’s belly. Today I saw an old man sitting on a guardrail, watching traffic go by while he picked something from the sole of his shoe, and my heart melted as though he were my grandfather.   Somehow, my yoga practice helps this inside thing happen, even when they don’t occur together. So. There you go. I have two branches, now. Who knows what will show up next, and what kind of tree I’ll be in the end. How about you?  How many branches?  What kind?  What’s your current growth? Thanks to yoga for such gorgeous growth, and thanks to you for the conversation. Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, speaker, and workshop wonderwoman in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her at kristinshepherd.ca or on Facebook at Dr. Kristin Shepherd.

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My Own Branches

This is the first of a series of blogs by yoga teachers on tour. Join them as they find inspiration to practice all over the world! Seven years ago a friend invited me to his hometown of Haines in Southeast Alaska. I had never considered visiting Alaska and didn’t give it much consideration; however, he didn’t give up easily and started sending me pictures of the river and mountains that persuaded me to visit  the little borough of Haines (pop. 2,400) for a week.   I fell in love with Haines at first sight and have returned every summer since. The people are friendly and generous and the natural beauty unparalleled. I started teaching a yoga class or two at the local community center that also houses the public radio and theater, and now have expanded into leading a full weekend workshop and evening kirtan. An incredible family (Beth MacCready and Gregg Bigsby) who practice yoga and meditation host me at their unique 15-acre waterfront property where the river meets the ocean. I stay in a yert, pictured above. Eagles fly overhead, seals and whales swim by, an occasional moose or bear wander in, and  snow-capped mountains rise out of water as far as the eye can see. It is here, by the sea in southeast Alaska that I have precious time to recharge my battery that gets worn down from living in an urban environment the rest of the year. My month here is a time for me to remember the practice of slowing down, the importance of rest and the healing power of mother nature. My singing, mediation and asana practice have plenty of space to unfold in this unique natural setting.   I plan my workshop with nature as a theme: trees rooting down to grow up toward the sun.  We practice rooting down into the earth with our feet and drawing energy up from the earth through the spine and out the crown of the head, allowing it to open and expand from the sky. We practiced this in Tadasana and through the standing poses. I gave the students a “home play” assignment to practice this extension as they stand and walk throughout the day.  I invite you to join us in this practice as well! Where do you go to recharge your battery? And what makes you feel connected to nature? Sarana Miller is trained in the Iyengar and Forrest Yoga traditions and is currently studying the Sarah Powers style. A student of Jai Uttal, she teaches yoga and leads kirtan in San Francisco. 

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Moose, Yoga and Alaska!

Remember when Ogden took over at Yoga Journal ? So-Cal yogis with a light sense of humor still have time to  catch the internet sensation series, The Inappropriate Yoga Guy on the big screen tonight! Here’s the details: Tuesday, August 3rd at 5pm Laemmle Sunset 5  8000 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90046 Head over there tonight and check out the five short episodes from when Ogden visited Yoga Journal here .

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Inappropriate Yoga Guy Heads for the Big Screen!

We’ve all had days like Alexander’s in the children’s book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. In case you haven’t read it (you should) one thing after another happens from the moment he wakes up: from finding gum in his hair, missing out on the cereal box prize to fighting with his big brother, a trip to the dentist, and having a broken nightlight, Alexander wishes he could forget this mess and simply run off to Australia (me too!)–they don’t have bad days there. As adults, and as yogis, we hopefully have outgrown some of these limited belief systems–but somehow it seems like this “bad day” allowance issue still comes up. We wake up and know this day is going to be off, so it is written off as such. What does science, and yoga have to say about that? Steve Schwartz of LifeHacker checks it out: The brain’s facility to simplify, in most contexts, is very useful and beneficial. Our brains develop symbols, or abstract representations of complex ideas, that allow us to connect the represented ideas with other ideas, and to build upon them, without having to keep the full details of every complex idea at the forefront of our minds. In other words, simplification clears our minds, freeing our brains to draw additional connections and conclusions from complex ideas, data, and experiences. But what happens when we simplify experiences with the wrong symbolic conclusion? This is precisely what happens when we conclude that we are having a bad day. We blame our misfortune on factors outside of our own control, in order to avoid analyzing the real reasons things happened as they did (or perhaps even to eschew our own responsibility). Hence, it is easy for us to believe we’re having a bad day. The obvious downside is that once you accept the convenient conclusion that the entire day is for naught, it will actually cause the rest of your day to go horribly awry. Experiencing the world with negative expectations is like viewing reality through a muddy water glass. Your view will be distorted and you won’t like what you see. Schwartz offers a four-step program on how to not have a bad day any day, most of which sound pretty much like yoga to us. In summary: 1.Reflect on the negative feeling you have right now. (Presence) 2.Re-evaluate the situation or events that lead to this stress. (Perspective) 3. Remember that the outcome of the previous minute is not indicative of the outcome of the next minute. (Avoid Samskaras) 4. There is no number four…get on with your life already! (Yoga is now!) Next time you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, try being present and changing your expectation–just like we do in yoga–and see if you have a wonderful, awesome, not bad, very fantastic day. Because some days are still going to seem like that, even in Australia.

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Got a Bad Case of the Mondays?

Two interesting, and strikingly different articles caught my eye in Sunday’s New York Times . The first, a book review by Pankaj Mishra that somewhat negatively reviews the rise of yoga in the United States. Whether in the streets of Mysore or on Fifth Avenue, yoga cannot be disentangled from specific histories or specific cultural and economic practices. Of course, the more vulgar aspects of its inevitable commodification in the United States, like $1,000-a-night yoga cruises, ­ought to be deplored. Certainly, the civic or political virtue that results from limber, yoga-toned bodies is not yet measurable. And it would be nice if American followers of yoga, who increasingly define the future of this Indian discipline, would at least occasionally seek something like spiritual transcendence. And the second, a glowing interview with Anusara founder John Friend by Mimi Swartz . The first time I encountered John Friend was at a workshop at a Woodlands community college nearly 10 years ago. At the time I was practicing a stricter form of yoga, and Friend’s joke-cracking and mind-boggling acrobatics — he is famous for his handstands — were something of a revelation. Yoga could be . . . fun ? As Friend led us through the poses, he spoke in a soft voice, insisting that we contain divinity within ourselves and must discover and express our inner goodness to fulfill our obligation to better our world. How to do so was never expressly stated — except for practicing yoga, of course — but I left the workshop feeling better physically, mentally and emotionally. I didn’t know at the time that this was my introduction to what others call “the cult of John.” If Friend could be compared with anyone outside the yoga world — and I am not sure he would like this comparison — it would be Joel Osteen , the magnetic evangelical megachurch minister with the feel-good message and a book-and-television empire. Osteen’s God is loving and forgiving. Osteen doesn’t get hung up on dogma, and thus everybody is welcome. I, for one, am happy to see yoga being discussed in the mainstream media. Glad that it is a part of our culture and open to debate. It’s good to know that people are thinking about these things and that makes it more likely to reach a deeper stream in our society. What do you think? ps- John Friend (@anusarafriend) plans to post his response to the interview today!

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John Friend and Yoga in America

For a modality whose very title, yoga, means “unity,” it sure seems to be chock full of opposites. Our hatha yoga poses are made up of the “sun” (ha) and “moon” (tha). Shiva-Shakti, or ying-yang, symbolize the passive and active parts of our natures, and we’re in constant interplay between sthira (effort) and sukha (ease) on and off the mat. Anatomically, we mirror this duality. Did you know there are no muscles that cross the midline of our bodies? We have the spine in back and the connective strip of the Linea alba in front, which when, you think about it, means that we are really two distinct halves fused together at these junctions. Spiritually as well, we exist as polar aspects of energy, which make up our total prana, or life force. I’ll call these collective energies the shadow and the light. Sometimes (in the cases of love and joy) the energies feel lighter, and other times (like with anger and sorrow), much heavier. Still, any of these energies can be used as pure fodder, fuel that either generates actions that are aligned with us or that steer us sharply from our paths. Since, in another two-sided element of being, our thoughts and actions can either feel more positive (loving) or negative (hurtful), we might make the misstep of placing value judgments on our feelings, deciding that the lighter energies are “good” and that the shadows are “bad.” We want to feel happy and free, and because our dark side may have caused us and others suffering, embarrassment, shame and loss, it’s all too seductive to try and live only on the light side of ourselves. I think it’s unfortunate that being a student of yoga is sometimes understood to mean one must be only light and happy, all the time, and to never feel angry, insecure, or vengeful. In my opinion, this idealized state is not spiritual perfection but a delusion of grandeur masquerading as spiritual practice. Being as we’re human and divine, it’s a great day when we realize that we can be both, and have our yoga, too. Because it’s not an absence of shadow feelings that makes one enlightened. It’s knowing how to alchemize them into conscious, loving actions once they arise that matters. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t there yet. We’ve even decided that there is “good” karma and “bad” karma. But when you look at karma as a concept, it’s judgment-free. It simply means that this or that choice can be more constructive or more destructive to your ultimate goals. Add to this information the fact that, often, it’s not the shadows themselves that are dysfunctional. It’s the way we express them that causes problems. If you shy away from discomfort, in your yoga poses or in life (and if you do one, I can nearly guarantee you do the other), it’s likely that you haven’t practiced with that dark side as much as you need to in order to become strong and resilient enough to bear its intensity. In other words, if you haven’t done this work, you may be prone to reactivity, where some event, inner or outer, connects you to your shadow energy. Before you know it, you’ve thrown a glass or hurled hurtful words at a loved one. Or perhaps you react inwardly and act destructively toward yourself, as in blowing an important deadline because you’re anxious or shutting yourself down out of fear. Picking fights, being disrespectful, participating in family dramas, gossiping, or using drugs or alcohol to cope with discomfort are all ways we let the dark side predominate. We have confused the reactions to our shadows with the shadows themselves, when in fact they are just energies waiting to be harnessed. It’s time to look directly at these energies, without naming or blaming, and use our yogi powers to  channel even our blackest moments from the messiness of reaction into the clarity and empowerment of reflection. From there, we can move forward into actions born of wisdom, not wildness. One way we do this on the mat is, simply put, by no longer resisting the sensations we don’t like, but by embracing them, or at least, softening our resistance against them to allow them to co-exist with the ones you are happier to feel. Say you’re in a five-minute Pigeon Pose, and somewhere around the three-minute mark, your hips start grumbling, then maybe yelling out loud. You were enjoying your moment of Zen, and had the breath under control, but here comes the old familiar hips-on-fire feeling. To deal with it, you start breathing louder, thinking about the grocery list, pondering your fingernails, and turning your attention to anything but the discomfort. Yet, according to yogic wisdom, this might be a powerful place to explore. What if, next time you found yourself in a battle of wills with those inner demons, you–well–just surrendered? Soften and widen the breath. Go gentler into that shadowy night. What happens when you stop fighting and start listening to what your dark side has been trying to teach you all along? When you do this, the monsters inside lose their power to throw you off center, and you’ll regain your inherent wholeness. The promise of yoga is unity, and by opening your heart to all of who you are, you will finally, completely, and nearly effortlessly, come home. The goal yoga may be to become enlightened, or to keep the fires of awareness lit, but we cannot get there without recognizing, and in fact honoring, our darkness. Without developing the sweet embrace of understanding and mothering grace of compassion for all that we are, we will never become whole, but rather just play out our days, quite literally, half-lived. Here’s a variation on a common pose that includes a mudra, or sacred hand position. Get to know it in a way that will remind you, as it reminds me, that wholeness is waiting whenever we widen our idea of yoga to include all its forms. Core Pose: Seated Spinal Twist with Gyan (or Jnana) Mudra Gyan Mudra is the “Knowledge Seal,” a hand position that helps focus your mind, heart, and spirit in a certain way. Start by uniting the tips of the index fingers and thumbs to symbolize the meeting of the awareness that comes from embracing your lower and higher energies. According to the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna was in Gyan Mudra when he imparted the teachings to Arjuna, urging him to use his humanity to express his divinity. Come into your easy seat. Make Gyan Mudra with both hands. Inhale and lengthen your spine at center. Exhale and bring the right hand to the left knee or thigh, and weave your left arm behind your back. Depending on your flexibility, your left hand mudra might peek out around the side waist as you see mine doing here. Take a few breaths here, facing your left side and opening the ribcage. Think of embracing your shadow side, the one you might hide from sight. Illuminate it with your attention and focused breath. Then reverse the pose and reflect on your active, bright, confident side for a few full breaths.  When you’re done with both sides, sweep your arms out and up, and when they meet overhead, bring the palms together in prayer, then down to front of your chest. Bow your head to your hands, a symbol of bringing yourself–all of yourself–into union.            

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Shadows and Light

As an urban yogi I often day dream about coming to a bustling, messy street square and seeing–instead of garbage and taxi cabs– hundreds of yogis. Wouldn’t that be a sight? Well, Bay Area yogis are in luck because you are all invited to yoga it up in Union Square on August 7. Stephanie Snyder and Darren Main have signed on as volunteers to lead the masses, and just to add a little agave-flavored icing to this holy granola treat; registration fees benefit City of Hope . Here’s the spiel: Yoga for Hope is an event for yoga beginners and experts alike to bring awareness to the benefits of yoga practice for patients with life-threatening illnesses. Join City of Hope’s efforts to expand awareness of the importance of the mind-body-spirit connection is when battling cancer, diabetes or HIV/AIDS. Don’t forget to keep an eye out for Yoga Journal’ s sponsor booth to get a goody bag and magazine. There are also prizes and incentives to raise donations above the registration fee, for more information visit Yoga for Hope. Who says New York yogis get to have all the fun?

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Yoga in Union Square

Last week I took Lucien to swim camp. Now, “swim camp” when you’re two involves getting into the water with your parent or caregiver and practicing the most basic skills like kicking and blowing bubbles into the water. I wasn’t exactly dropping him off for sleep away camp. But, on the first day, my guy was terrified of getting in the water, even though we swim together in one of the public outdoor pools in Vancouver. He refused to go in. Lucien’s fear and resistance reminded me of how I feel when I’m in yoga class and it’s time for backbends, specifically Urdhva Danurasana. Give me a chair backbend or an Ustrasana and I’m happy, but when it comes time for wheel, I have a hard time not heading for a bathroom break. But when, despite my urge to flee, I force myself to stay and work through the tightness in my upper back and shoulders and the voice in my head saying “No! I’m scared. I don’t want to do that pose!” I end up feeling a sense of freedom and elation that only come from breaking through a mental or physical block. Back at the swimming pool, it was seriously touch-and-go for a few minutes (major crying and “No, I am NOT a fish!” on Lucien’s part, and some serious cajoling–um, make that supportive encouragement–on mine).  Eventually we made it into the water. As you can imagine, Lucien loved it once he was in. The water felt great on a hot day, and the songs and games his teacher used to encourage comfort and familiarity with the water worked like a charm.  By Friday morning, the fifth and last class of the “camp” session, Lucien refused to get out of the water! All in all a huge success.   Sometimes, you have to force yourself to stretch. Which pose makes you say “No, I’m scared!”?     Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Swim Camp

In a recent Anatomy of Yoga class with Leslie Kaminoff, we watched a video that I’ll never forget. And hopefully, neither will you. And, trust me, this all has a heck of a lot to do with your yoga practice! It features anatomist Gil Hedley explaining The Fuzz. You can watch it yourself, but be aware that it shows him working with a cadaver. Yet it’s such an important piece of knowledge that I’d like to define this incredible concept for you, and you can choose to view it or not and still take it forward into your daily life. Each night while we sleep, or any time we’re still for long periods, like sitting in a car on a long road trip, our body begins to build collagen fibers. They look a little like cotton candy, and are just as sticky, causing friction between what should be smoothly sliding muscle surfaces. The end result is the stiffness you might feel in the morning getting out of bed or standing up after watching a three-hour movie. Now, this is usually no big deal for those of us with a consistent movement practice. We feel creaky, we do yoga, we’re good. But if you don’t lubricate your joints and move your muscles to break up the fuzz regularly enough, it begins to knit together. Over time, the normal, subtle stiffness becomes limited movement, and even pain as the spider-webbed, bound body tries to move against resistance. Instead of confronting the fuzz, to avoid discomfort, many people simply move less. It becomes a vicious cycle that we often chock up to aging, but really is a cumulative, and mostly avoidable, buildup of fuzz. Now, that’s not to say that all physical slowdown is due to the fuzz, and if we simply stretch more, we will never feel the effects of age. But there is much more we can do to keep our bodies–and therefore our minds–as open, vital, and free as possible. This parallels the yoga teaching about samskaras , the mental and emotional patterns that make up our conditioning. Samskara is a neutral word, indicating simply the actions we take that lead to certain results, but our habits can lead to either constructive or destructive outcomes, depending on our goals. The yogi seeks to strengthen those positive habits that maintain the full range of spiritual motion, and, importantly, dissolve the ones that have become diminishing and threaten to hold us back from reaching our potential of living from love, light, and joy. It’s exciting to see science finding that the same lessons apply to our actual body as well. In fact, I see the two as interconnected, since continual mental and emotional stress, for example, leads almost unerringly to muscle tension, which is a direct physical manifestation of the samskara of anxiety or fear. This is the mind-body connection the yogis have known about for centuries, and though sometimes yoga philosophy can get pretty obtuse, much of it can be translated into the real world as simply as you want to make it. That’s nice to know when you’re looking for tools you can apply today, right this moment, that can help you release what doesn’t serve you, and keep, even amplify, the things that do. Yoga doesn’t have to be confusing. It’s the art of living in balance, and taking actions that fuel your happiness, whatever that means for you. From there, you’ll be inspired to offer some of that goodness to the world through your creative self-expression, and with a burning desire to help those who are still suffering. This is the road map the samskaras offer us: What kind of a life are you carving out through your choices? Is it shaping up as you’d like? If not, then start chipping away at another way of being until it more closely resembles your heart. The next time you’re on the mat, or doing a few Sun Salutes just out of bed, you are not only solidifying healthy habits, you’re creating the potential for new ones to take root in your life in so many ways. Here’s a great all-in-one pose for dissolving restrictive samskaras, and, with them, the fuzz. Do it in the morning just after you get out of bed, and you’ll greet your whole day with more resiliency, flexibility, and freedom from all sorts of fuzz. Core Pose: Low Lunge with Cat/Cow Variation Come into a Low Lunge position with your right foot forward. Your front knee is stacked over the heel, not out in front of it, to avoid knee pressure. The back knee stretches comfortably behind the hip, not directly under it. The front foot and back knee are hip-distance, or about two fists-width apart. Keep your hands on the floor, framing your front foot at first. Take a moment to back off the hips, since you don’t want to sink too far into this pose. This can cause you to overstretch the connective tissue. Instead, lift out of the pose a bit until you can ground the foot and knee, draw in the low belly, and bring your torso upright, hands onto the knee or thigh. You should now feel a stretch in the center of your muscles, not in the back hip crease and front sitting bone only. Your legs are also working to maintain the buoyancy of the pose. Inhale, carve your tailbone long, and arch your spine. Keep the back of your neck long, and lift the chest sky-high. As you do this move, pull your shoulders back and slide your shoulder blades closer. Exhale and round your back. Remember to keep the length in your lower back and roll more through the upper back and shoulder area. Gently lower your chin for a mindful neck stretch. This pose is meant to lift through the back of your heart and spread the shoulder blades wider apart than it is to press out your lower back curve. So although you will activate the low belly fully on your exhalation, lift it in and up towards the chest, rather than squeezing it back towards the spine only. Repeat the spinal motion with your breath for 5-10 rounds, then return to a Down Dog or Child’s Pose, and repeat on the left side.

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Fuzz Buster

Feeling a little burnt out on your yoga practice? How about a little inspiration for your practice from a few of the greats? Check out Krisnamacharya’s totally zen moving Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand)! And from Mr. Iyengar himself: Who, or what, inspires your practice?

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Old School Yoga

Testing Food Blog

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Testing Food Blog

testing entry for Challenge Mondays

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Monday test

Parent-baby and parent-toddler yoga classes seem to be growing in popularity, but does it really help the children find their center? Shivani Vora from the Wall Street Journal reports. “A growing number of classes around the U.S. and DVD programs insist kids can reap all the benefits of yoga–but in a less-structured format. They say that yoga is calming for children, teaches them more awareness about their bodies and even helps with their development. But Punam Kashyap, a senior developmental and behavioral pediatrician at the Institute of Child Development at the Joseph Sanzari Children’s Hospital in Hackensack, N.J., says there is very little evidence that the practice can have a positive effect on young children. “It’s a theory, not a fact that yoga can calm babies,” she says. “That said, as long as your child is having fun in a class, it’s not going to harm them in any way.” As parents, we were curious if yoga would do anything to mellow out our small children. We tested three classes and a DVD for comparison. (Read the entire blog for the details of the “experiment.”) Our daughter paid attention for at least half of the DVD before her attention started to waver. She attempted a few of the poses and was fascinated by the animal and nature sounds like a hissing snake and barking like a dog. We aren’t sure if it made her any calmer, but she did have a good time and now keeps asking to “do yoga” to her disc. While the children didn’t seem noticeably more chilled out in the end, yoga did amuse them and introduce them to a practice they can use to de-stress when they’re older. For us, that makes yoga for kids a keeper.” What do you think about kids doing yoga? Are they old enough to reap the benefits?

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Is Yoga for Kids any Good?

You know your child is a yogi in training when: 1. He knows what a neti pot is and can explain how to use it and why. 2. She sings along to Krisha Das and Wah! 3. Not only can he do cobbler’s pose, he calls the pose by its Sanskrit name and prefers if you do, too. 4. When he wears his Ganesh T-shirt, he wants to “sing the song about Ganesh.” 5. He is MUCH more excited about the Babar yoga book than Toy Story 3. 6. Favorite foods include: avocado, peaches, quinoa pasta, steel cut  oatmeal, kale, and hemp milk. 7. The stuffed animals in your house play yoga rather than war. 8. He drinks chamomile tea in a sippy cup. 9. She gets really, really happy when she hears Mama’s off to yoga class. 10. He — see photo above — does a chair back bend off his high chair in the morning just because. How do you know your child is a yogi? Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Ten Ways You Know Your Child is a Yogi

In May 1975, the first issue of Yoga Journal –all 10 pages and 300 copies of it–was born. YJ is 35 years old this year, and we thought it only fitting to celebrate with yoga, of course! Our Facebook fans submitted their daring arm balances from all over the world, which you can view in our Arm Balance Extravaganza slideshow . Founded in 1975 by members of the California Yoga Teachers Association (Rama Vernon, Ike and Judith Lasater, Rose Garfinkle, Jean Girardot, Janis Paulsen, and William Staniger), Yoga Journal was created to unite the growing yoga community and provide “material that combines the essence of classical yoga with the latest understanding of modern science.” Read the full story of YJ’s beginnings here. Keep an eye out for more on our Special 35th Anniversary Edition hitting newsstand this fall. Be the first to get sneak previews and other special offers by becoming a fan at www.facebook.com/yogajournal

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Happy Birthday Yoga Journal!

Before I move to Austin on Monday, I thought it would be a good idea to pop up to Boston to teach a couple of workshops on Saturday. Why? Because I’m a glutton for punishment! No, actually, and perhaps strangely, I’m considering it a mini-vacation. A moving vacation, more specifically, since I get to ride a train and have nearly 8 hours to myself to do with what I wish. That’s about 6.5 hours more than I’ve had in a long time. On the trip so far, I’ve slept, read a magazine, planned classes, written this blog, caught up on emails, and simply stared out the window, enjoying the passing views of the verdant Hudson Valley.  This may sound like a lot, but these were all things I felt like doing, and they’ve brought me heartfelt pleasure. Virginia Woolf once said, “A woman must have money and a room of her own, if she is to write fiction.” I think that sentiment extends to both genders. No matter who you are, in order to create, you need resources. And one integral requirement of creative freedom is space. This doesn’t mean just a physical space, but some kind of spiritual “room”–an expanse within. This is where your spirit can dance with abandon as you gift yourself the chance to decide what to create next, instead of having your next move dictated by the pressures of time, relationships, and responsibility. The funny thing is, we yogis learn that in order to expand, we must first draw inward. We have to contain ourselves, plug our pranic leaks, and stop existing solely in other people’s rooms if we are to truly live in our own. This practice of self-regulating the balance between giving and receiving helps us stay focused not only on sharing with others, but on keeping what we need. In this way, we cultivate moksha , or being free from stress and suffering, but to me, also means having the freedom to access the soul, and from there, to express oneself completely and without regret.   This is often what stepping onto the mat means to me. It’s a magic carpet ride to new adventures as I remember and reveal the most vital parts of myself. No phones ring, no flight times loom, no partners or students need my attention. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting this time to myself, this room of my own. After all, I love my loved ones and enjoy my job. As a centered-living teacher, I should be able to exist in peace within the chaos and pull of the outer world, right? Well yes, and no. I find that in order to give the quality of attention that my projects and interactions deserve, I simply must take physical, mental, or emotional retreats at regular intervals. Otherwise, I risk burnout. Whether it’s a nap, a walk in the park, a long bath, or a train ride, I’m careful to immerse in the luxury of being totally Self-centered. Then, once I’m ready to re-engage with the world, I have all the more to offer the next time an offering is called for.      All too often, we wait until we are at the end of our ropes, frazzled and spent, before we’ll use those vacation days or get a massage. Sometimes it takes illness or fatigue to force us to pause and get some much needed rest. As practitioners of a conscious path, I invite each of us to do better than that. Let’s look for daily opportunities to invoke freedom: to withdraw, conserve, and nourish our bodies, hearts, and minds. If chances for restoration are lacking in your life, build a room of your own with the tools gathered from your yoga practice: the wisdom to know when to go and when to stop, and the inner strength to create the boundaries needed to literally make peace with–and within–your life. Core Pose: Ustrasana (Camel Pose) with Arm Stretch Here’s an asana that helps me invite moksha into my day by shaking off the constrictions of tension in my body or on some other level. Kneel at the front of your mat with your knees slightly separated. Reach one hand back onto the floor or a block. Exhale fully and firm your belly. As you inhale, press your fingertips into the mat and circle your other arm up and back beside your ear. At the same time, lengthen your tailbone and pull your navel in and up as you lift your hips (a little or a lot, depending on your flexibility) and wave your spine towards a heart-opening backbend. Refrain from dropping your head back; keep the neck curve naturally long and supported. Exhale, return your hips to your heels, and bring the opposite hand behind you to repeat on the other side. Aim for 5-10 repetitions of this pose then fold forward into Child’s Pose for one minute.      

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A Room of One’s Own

1.Do your hamstrings become close to the same length at any point? 2. Have you found clothes that contain your gut while doing Downward Dog? (Perhaps you don’t have a gut anymore.) 3. How long did it take you to get the bandha thing going? 4. (This is directly related to #3) Can you lift your bum and legs off the ground when doing Uttitha Padmasana? How long did it take you to learn that?  (Are your arms disproportionately long by any chance?) 5. Has anyone ever snapped a hip in two doing Pigeon Pose?   6. Do you like yourself more, now, than you did before starting yoga? (I do, for the most part. Something to do with the daily determination to be kind to myself, I suspect.) 7. Do you fantasize about teaching yoga? Classes at sunrise? In temples? In India? (If you currently teach yoga in temples in India, do you fantasize about teaching yoga at sunset in Machu Picchu?) I do. I have long, flowing hair and long, flowing hamstrings in these fantasies. 8. Does yoga elbow its way into all of your conversations? (For example, your dentist says you need to replace a crown. You say, that reminds me of forward bends in class today. Your dentist doesn’t understand.)  Most of the people in my life hope this wears off at some point.  9.  Do you still love it?  As much as you did when you were new? That last one is the one that matters to me most. I’d love to hear that it’s possible to love this for the rest of my life. Thanks to yoga for inspiring questions, and thanks to you for the conversation.

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Questions for Yogi Experts

Getty Images Starting you kids out young in yoga sounds like a great idea, but would you bring your child to a hot yoga class? In case you haven’t heard, Bikram’s self-proclaimed “torture chambers” are a series of twenty-six postures in a 104-degree room for 90 minutes. It is an extreme workout. Instructors say it’s natural to feel nauseous, dizzy and maybe even black out. This blogger from MomLogic.com starts investigating after a mother brings her four-year-old to the weekend hot yoga class. “At the beginning of the class, this little yogi was trying each of the moves, naturally having trouble holding any pose. By 15 minutes into the class, the poor thing was playing with her water bottle, spraying herself and rolling around on her towel. I am in my mid-30s, and I can barely stay focused for the hour and a half. So I totally understood how this little one was bored out of her mind. As the class continued, she got up and down and tried more moves. Of course her mom kept trying to correct her, but the instructor insisted that she let her daughter learn on her own. Meanwhile, I was hot as hell and wondering, Is this healthy for the child? So of course, back at work, I just had to get an expert opinion. Pediatrician and momlogic expert Dr. Alanna Levine said the following: “I do not recommend that young children participate in Bikram yoga . Children handle high temperatures differently than adults. They have a higher surface-area-to-mass ratio, which means they absorb heat more than adults do. They also have a smaller blood volume, which makes it harder for them to dissipate the heat. Lastly, they have a slower rate of sweat production than adults, and sweating is a mechanism to cool us off. Children are not ‘mini adults’ — and should not be treated as such.” I thought it was only fair to call up the Bikram Yoga College of India and talk to someone there. Jessica, 32, has been a Bikram instructor since 2008. Here’s how our chat went: ml: Does Bikram have a minimum age requirement?  Jessica: There are no strict rules, as long as the child is quiet and well-behaved. There’s a youth category for the annual Bikram competition. Bikram, the founder, has three children, and they all started doing “hot yoga ” at a very early age. ml: How old was your youngest student ever? J: I haven’t have any younger than 9 or 10. Sometimes younger students wait outside during  the standing series and come in for the floor series. ml: How would you respond to our doctor’s claims that Bikram is unhealthy for kids? J: With any physical practice, you should have a doctor’s recommendation. A decision to do Bikram should be taken person by person. It’s case by case. What do you think? Do kids as young as 4 belong in a hot- yoga class? Have you ever brought your child to yoga ? What types of yoga are acceptable?” Read more here .

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Hot Yoga for Kids?

I just did something so major I have to write it down to believe it. I’m relocating from New York City where I’ve lived and taught yoga for nearly a decade, to Austin, Texas. I’ve decided to relocate so that I can focus exclusively on my health, yoga, travel, and teaching for what I’m calling my yogi artist’s retreat year. After that, I’ll see where I am. The requirements of my burgeoning yoga career are intense, and living in a place like New York City doesn’t make things easy. For example, it took me 4 hours to drive 11 miles to the airport the other day, only to miss my flight. Total cost: $1,600. Austin has a shuttle that goes from my new apartment to the airport in 10 minutes. Total cost: 50 cents. I kid you not. Now, don’t get me wrong. Just like the T-shirts say, I (heart) New York. That’s why I’ve lived there for so long. But it’s time for a change, and specifically, I’m interested in what will happen to my yoga trajectory when I steep in it fully for a good period of time. This will be a Dharma Immersion, if you will. At first, I was torn about whether or not to make such a radical move. So I practiced what I teach. I put fears and judgments aside and thought about what would serve my ultimate goals the best. Right now, I require ease of travel; a location that is equidistant to both coasts and the flyover states; an affordable apartment with enough space for me to film my YouTube and training videos; and a community that values health, good food, and good yoga. A creative environment and a lack of traditional winter weather is just icing on the cake.   For these reasons and more, Austin was an obvious choice for me. The cool thing is, once I chose it, I was surrounded by so many universal green lights that I have to believe the signs are pointing me on the road I’m meant to take now. Before I was a yogi, I would have shut myself down before I ever began this journey. I probably would never have left the safety of the Midwest to try my luck in the Big Apple, or taken any of the risks that have brought me to where I am now. Yoga teaches us how to step out of our own way, remove the veils of uncertainty, and quiet the voices that tell us we’re insane to do what we are being called toward. If we can turn down the volume of our fears, it’s possible to hear that still, powerful whisper of our satya , or truth; that core voice that can move us toward transformation. We do this through cultivating a regular asana practice so our limiting patterns don’t build up and slow us down. We learn to sit in meditation and listen intently until we hear only our inner guide and not the confusing cacophony that surrounds it. We implement our lessons off the mat, do our best to be brave, and lead by example into our next incarnation of who we want to be. Most of all, when grounding is called for, we ground, and when flying beckons, we find out how wide our wingspan really is. The yogi is a shapeshifter, an energetic alchemist who uses the raw materials of experience, relationship, self-knowledge, and prana (life force) to create magic out of what others see as a static reality. Is it the perfect choice for me to take a year in Austin? Perhaps not. Staying in the city has its benefits, too. But we can always go back to what we know. So why not try going forward? Yes, it takes a big leap of faith sometimes. But we yogis have that in spades, y’all. So what is your dharma calling you to do next? Core Pose: “First Eye” Goddess This asana is one I teach and do whenever I want to envision my next move. It stimulates the forehead center, the seat of our intuition, and expands perspective away from the constriction of fear. This is why I call it the First Eye. It’s a primary tool of perception, your mind’s eye, and keeping it wide open will serve you well as you navigate your next steps along your path. Sit on your mat. Bring both feet together, knees open wide. With a long spine, tilt your sacrum and top hip crests forward as you bring your elbows onto the floor or two yoga blocks. Place your thumbs inside your eyebrows, just above your nose. Allow your forehead to release towards the thumbs even as you maintain the open hips and spinal alignment of the rest of the pose. Breathe here for 1-2 minutes, and then come into knees-together Child’s Pose for a few breaths to counterbalance the asana.  

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Moving Forward

Sting just started out for a summer tour, and, unfortunately, the only buzz we keep hearing is about this mysterious scandalous tantra stuff. Allow Sting and his wife, Trudie Styler, to explain themselves in Yoga Journal ’s exclusive interview . Stephanie Syman, author of The Subtle Body: The Story of Yoga in America , also plans to set the tantric-yoga record straight once and for all in her Wall Street Journal blog: “Traditionally, Tantra refers to a loose and varied collection of practices detailed in the Tantras (Indic texts). Some of its most salient features are secrecy and worship of the female principle. The feature that has most intrigued and shocked observers–both Indian and Western–is that Tantra enjoins the aspirant to either visualize sex or engage in acts of ritual intercourse. The purpose of this conjugation, often depicted as the union of Siva and Shakti, is to reach Samadhi, a blissful state of consciousness devoid of any sense of personal identity. Succeed, and not only do you turn your mind into a “point of awareness,” as Ram Dass once put it, you obtain special powers (siddhis). You could say that we’re all Tantrics now since the most popular form of yoga today, Hatha Yoga, has been a central feature of Tantric practice, and its creators were affiliated with Tantric sects. But as with most cultural imports, our assimilation of Tantra has involved equal parts interpretation and invention. No wonder. Tantric practice is no quick route to sexual gratification. It’s traditionally demanding, complicated, highly formalized, and at times, tedious. And only some types of Tantrics (known as “left-handed”) engage in ritual sex at all. Tantra then presents a paradox: it can involve sex and yet its prerequisites mitigate the pleasure. And while you may enhance sexual performance via Tantric practices, the goal is not to get good at sex, the goal is to alter your consciousness so radically that embodied existence is no longer relevant.” Still curious? Read Todd Jones’ The Truth About Tantra. Erin Chalfant is a writer, yoga teacher and the Web Editor at Yoga Journal.

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Truly Tantric

I’m in Austin, Texas, and last night took a lovely yoga class at Black Swan Yoga. Hillary, the instructor, said something so simple, it was profound. After a difficult Eka Pada Koundinyasana (Pose Dedicated to the Sage Koundinya) variation, which we were attempting during heat and humidity that created a slip-n-slide situation, we returned to a democratic Downward-Facing Dog. As we recovered, Hillary said, “If you were struggling in that last pose, then it’s good it’s over. You don’t have to think about it anymore, because it’s not happening now.” I know that I’ve said and heard countless variations on that theme in yoga classes I’ve taught and attended. Yet something about the straightforwardness with which Hillary spoke made it seem so simple to just let go of the past and along with it, all the weighty entanglements of suffering, guilt, and instant replays. Trying to change the past by keeping it running on a constant mental and emotional loop can end up frittering away your prana , or life force. Likewise, when you jet off into any scenario–imaginary or already played-out– than what is really happening in the here and now, I call it time-traveling.  We time-travel on the mat too, like when you mentally tell off an ex-boyfriend while in Crow Pose or go over your grocery list in Savasana. The danger in always traveling into what has been or what might never be, is that you lose the sensitivity it takes to stay in communication with your core wisdom. That root awareness can only reveal itself when you drop the baggage you’re carrying and turn all your attention toward accessing the tools you have right where you stand. At first when Hillary made that statement, I thought, “Yeah, easy to say, Sister, but try doing it.” Then I remembered one day a few years back. I was standing in the subway, having recently gone through a major breakup, and my heart was hurting. The world seemed colorless and tasteless, and still, everything stung. For no reason at all, I wondered why I was feeling so bad. Was it inevitable? Or was it a choice I was making?  I decided to see if I could put my broken heart on hold, enjoy a day out in the big city, and come back to the processing part later on. In literally one instant, my pain disappeared. Gone, nada , zip. I felt free, light, and happy to be alive and experiencing all that was in front of me. I had a wonderful time before, a little while later, I decided to re-enter the growth process, a sensation that would never again be as cutting or make me feel as helpless as when I thought I had no control over it. I didn’t know that it was possible to allow myself to step into the present so fully as to be immune from the poison of confusion and regret. I’ve employed this skill many times since, and you can, too. It’s as close as a decision, as gentle as an allowing, and as natural as relaxing into being who you want to be, right this minute. Yogis call this process dharana , or concentration. It requires pratyahara , sense withdrawal, another yogic skill of reigning yourself in from obsessively poring over the past or future, and from leaking your chi, or energy. I also call it core power, and when you practice using it to become victorious over the time-traveling mind and tidal heart, you will see more clearly, and without judgment, how you wish to proceed in the only time period that you can do anything about–the one you’re in. Sometimes even teachers need teachers to remind us of this. Here’s a pose variation that can quickly return you to the present; one that gets you grounded plus gives you a taste of all the strength and vitality you hold at center. From there, no matter how life comes at you, you can choose to come right back out at it with compassion, wisdom, and grace. Core Pose: “Core” Ardha Chandrasana (Half Moon Pose) Stand with your feet about two fists-width apart. Bend your knees and reach your right fingertips diagonally out away from your right foot, wider than the right shoulder, and press them into the mat. At the same time, press your right foot into the ground strongly. On an exhalation, draw your left knee into your chest using your low belly to draw in and up toward your sternum. Begin to stack your left hip on top of the right and unfurl your left arm to the sky. Inhale as you maintain the tone in your abdominal muscles, and begin to lengthen your bent, left leg out behind you until it is parallel to the floor. Your bottom leg can remain bent or, if your flexibility allows, straighten it. Keep your standing leg firm and foot rooted even as you draw into and express from your center in the pose. Do 3-5 repetitions on this side then bring both feet back down into the starting position. Take a gentle forward fold, clasping opposite elbows. Find your Earth-to-core connection and repeat the pose on the left side.  

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Stop Time-Traveling

Two fantastic things occurred over the last 24 hours. 1. We experienced an earthquake yesterday. Very exciting. It lasted 26 seconds. The dog growled for a few seconds, and the antennae on the TV shook for a full minute. In fact, the quake shook much of the province, which was wonderful, because it led to phone calls with my mother in Ottawa and my sister in Toronto. It’s the kind of thing everyone wants to talk about.  2. I tried naked yoga this morning. My goal was to last longer than 26 seconds. There is no doubt I was shaken more by the naked yoga than the quake. If you haven’t tried it, if your dad is British, say, and you’re uneasy in short sleeves, if you wear flannel clown pants to bed every night and peel your socks off during the middle of the night as you become unbearably hot–if you do all of that–well, we can talk. (If this isn’t you and you’re the type who goes naked to the movies, you have no idea what I’m talking about. In my next life I’ll be just like you.) The first 26 seconds are spent dismayed by the complex surface of my thighs, which look as though they have undergone several earthquakes of their own. Then I forget about them, perhaps because it is hotter this morning than it’s been all summer, and as humid as cottage cheese. My first forward bend makes me sweat. I make it to 40 minutes, naked. I put my clown pants back on for seated postures, to avoid rug burn, I say to myself. I conclude that this naked thing is no big deal. And then something unexpected happens. I move off the rug and onto the wood floor for Savasana. And, oh, oh, oh, the floor is as cool as ice cream on my poached back, so cool that I take my clown pants off again for the last couple of minutes. I press my low back into the floor and when I relax it makes a deep, suction-y, rumbling, farting sound that is the best thing I have EVER heard during my practice.  A soft, funny earthquake of my very own. I am CERTAIN you have things to teach me about your naked (or not) home practice. My ears are quaking. Thanks to earthquakes, to cool floors, and to you for the conversation. Join Kristin at kristinshepherd.ca or on Facebook at http://kristinshepherd.ca

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An Earth Moving Experience

I was out at lunch with a friend in Brooklyn the other day. She’s Israeli, and she enjoys teaching me Yiddish words that seem random. (Like the word for suspenders, or shleykes .) I was telling her about my decision to spend the rest of 2010 engaged in a hugging practice. For the first half of the year, I toured like crazy, a rewarding yet hectic experience of meeting students and studio owners across the country. For the next few months, and into 2011, I’m going to hug in, or streamline and focus as much as possible, on what positively serves my goals of teaching Core Strength principles to people. And I intend to limit the things that drain my energy unnecessarily so that I have more quality instruction to share when I do teach. “Gurnisht!” my friend interjected. “What?” I replied. She explained that in Yiddish, this word means “done” or “a decision made.” That’s it, that’s all, that’s all she wrote. Gurnisht is what we do whenever we choose not to participate in something in favor of doing something else. Yogis go a step further, We aim to bring a consciousness and compassion to our choices, so the decisions we make end up helping us to stay healthy and balanced, with energy to give to the important projects and relationships that nourish us in return. I know that, for me at least, it’s much easier to say yes than to say no. It’s uncomfortable to disappoint people. It’s also intense to keep energy inside that could have gone out to something or someone else, as anyone knows who has ever held Chair Pose for what seems like an eternity instead of running screaming out if the room. The key to balance is to know when a yes or a no will best serve your highest good. Often, my students express anxiety about saying no, because it feels like a negative thing. Well, it inherently is, and yet when we realize that a boundary can be as positive as an offering, our perspective of saying gurnisht might also shift. After all, without banks, a river becomes a stagnant swamp. If we truly want to move anything forward in our lives, it’s important to first identify the areas to which we want to give our commitments. Then, the borders we build with the solidity of our focus around those agreements encourage our energy to flow forward into action. Over time, these positive habits carve a path toward our preferred creations, careers, loves, and life choices. This sounds great, but it is supremely challenging to do, whether you’re saying yes to a wonderful opportunity or no to participating in relationships or responsibilities that take you off track of what you wish to cultivate. Understanding when to employ agreement or denial is a skill we use each time we step onto the mat. In our asanas, in any given moment, we get chances to hug in or expand in infinite ways: Do you want to express outward into Full Wheel or back off in Bridge Pose to protect an injured shoulder or to save energy? Through refining our choices based on what we think will empower our ultimate harmony of sthira-sukha , or steadiness and ease, we learn how to more easily navigate the constant stream of requests coming from within and, once we move off the mat, from the outside world. One could even say that sthira is our no, and sukha is the freedom and joy of our big yes that sthira helps to make possible. After all, there can hardly be one without the other. In our poses and in our lives, we employ not only conscious yeses, but conscious nos. Yoga teaches us that when you choose your dharma, and step into the current of your highest expression of health and happiness, freedom and delight, you undeniably serve the highest good of everyone else around you. Think about that for a moment. We yogis know that even though good is served doesn’t mean it will feel good to say no to drama and yes to our dharma. At times, moving toward our own truth can cause anger, fear, insecurity, and pain–for others and for ourselves. When your heart and your core tell you that it’s time to hug in, and say “no more” to leaking your attention and prana (life force)–instead making room for freedom from suffering and freedom to be yourself–remember the principle of gurnisht and don’t do it! Core Pose: Half Chaturanga Dandasana Just because this is half a Chaturanga doesn’t mean it’s not fully challenging. I see so many students rushing or collapsing through full Chaturanga, and they flirt with shoulder, elbow and wrist strain, instead of reaping the core and arm-strengthening benefits of the pose. This variation will help you back off to go deeper. Coming into effective alignment and generating the freedom of more power and safety means you have to create boundaries all around the pose. Begin in Plank Pose, fingers wide, palms and fingertips grounding. Place your knees down on the mat, not under the hips, but farther back. Remain lifted at the navel with a long tailbone and spine. Reach your chest forward between the upper arms without sinking toward the floor and winging the shoulder blades; they stay firmly on your back. Hug your elbows in, not squeezing the ribs but also not leaking energy by opening too wide. Keep the elbows directly over your wrists. On an exhalation, float your heart forward to maintain the vertical line of your forearms, push the floor with your hands, pull up the side waists and lower belly, and begin to lower, by about 2 to 4 inches. Resist the urge to go to as far as full Chaturanga. Staying higher will keep you working from the belly, or center, of your muscles, so you gain tone instead of stressing connective tissue and joints. Try 3-5 repetitions, holding each Half Chaturanga for 1-3 breaths. Press back into Child’s Pose and rest for 1 minute after your last pose.  

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Hugging in–and saying No

In the midst of wedding season, it seems like a good time to think about what we are committing to when we gaze longingly at our mat or wish we had more time for Namaskar-ing at sunset. In chapter five of the Bhagavad Gita : “The resolute in yoga surrender and gain perfect peace; the irresolute, attached to results, are bound by everything they do.” So, we’ve got to resolutely let go? Sounds tricky. Even if we can conceptualize this, how is it applied and how do we live this truth on and off the mat? Susan Piver at the Huffington Post seems to have hit it right on the yoga toes. Not sure if she does asana on a mat, but she certainly sounds like a yogi in this reflective blog written on her twelfth wedding anniversary. “It’s just now, 12 years later, that I’m finding out what, apparently, I said yes to. I said yes to the unfolding, impenetrable arc of uncertainty. I guess I thought that finding love was an endpoint, that some kind of search was over and I would find home. We would leap over the threshold together into whatever we imagined our ideal cottage to be. But really we stepped through a crazy looking glass. It seems that I committed to a lifetime of delight and sadness, inseparable from each other. Every time I look into my dear one’s eyes and feel how deeply we’re connected, the moment disappears before I can actually hold it–and I have to watch that happen. It’s excruciating. It’s much easier to do this with your thoughts when you’re meditating than with the feeling you get from his breath on your shoulder as you fall asleep. But now I get that I have to repeat this until the end of my life, and that somehow this is love’s road. I didn’t really understand that love does not arise, abide, or dissolve in connection with any particular feeling. It has almost nothing to do with feeling. (Nor does it seem to be a gesture, a commitment to stay, becoming best friends, or anything else I might have thought.) Love has become a container in which we live. Through time, riding mysterious waves of passion, aggression, and ignorance (and boredom), I think we began to live within love itself. At least I did. E ach time I have opened up, extended myself, accepted what was being offered to me, stepped beyond my comfort zone to embrace him, the structure has been reinforced. I no longer have any idea if I love my husband or not. I can’t imagine what the feelings I have for him could be called. I’ve even given up trying to love him. Our relationship is what gives us love, not the other way around. This is how it is. And if you’re looking for a crucible in which to heat compassion, this is a really good one. Someone once told me that compassion is the ability to hold love and pain together in the same moment. So at least we’re learning something, which is what I tell myself. When you find your true love, there is something inside that simply and inexplicably says hello to him. Yes to him. Of course to him. Certainly. Obviously it’s you. There is no choice. I do.” Are you ready to commit or re-commit to your practice?  What poses do you use to remind yourself to commit to surrender? I like Ardha Chandrasana for this balance. Whether you’re getting married this summer, attending a commitment ceremony or finaly ready to take the leap with yoga, this article on celebrating with meaning may help get you in the mood. Erin Chalfant is a writer, yoga teacher and the Web Editor at Yoga Journal.

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I do Yoga

  I just got back from Feathered Pipe Ranch in Montana–my first-ever time away from Lucien and first out-of-town yoga workshop in years. When I got there I had a bad headache and a guilty conscience. Had I made a huge mistake in leaving my two-and-a-half year-old son? Was I a bad parent for ditching him while doing something–studying yoga–that was all about me? How would Neil and Lucien manage to survive a day without me, much less five?   Sure, I was there to study with one of my favorite yoga teachers in the world, Marla Apt. Yes, Neil and Lucien are as close as could be and Neil had half convinced me that I deserved this break. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was somehow wrong for me to be there.   Then we began to practice. Three hours of asana in the morning, two and half hours in the afternoon of asana and pranayama, with time in between and after class to read, think, meditate, talk to Marla and the other yogis, and just be.   Marla is a gifted and generous teacher. Her sequences are magical, her instructions brilliant, her adjustments incredibly insightful. During our time together my asana practice took a serious leap forward. I came to remember something, too: how important asana is to me. As much as I treasure everything else yoga has brought me closer to–yoga philosophy, conscious living and parenting, healthy eating, the creative life–yoga asana is the daily tonic I need in order to make all that possible.   Each day at the ranch I felt calmer, more open, freer. My headache disappeared and my tense shoulders became soft. My guilty conscience eased. I felt more like me. I promised myself then and there I’d rededicate myself to my home practice and my weekly classes with my wonderful Vancouver teacher Louie Ettling in Vancouver. I also vowed to continue studying with Marla whenever possible.   By the way, Lucien and Neil did great. My “baby” didn’t cry once over his missing Mommy as I’d worried he might. According to Neil, whenever my name came up Lucien would smile and say “Momma’s at a yoga retreat! In Montana! Downward dog!” The truth is Lucien loves his Daddy, and feels just as comfortable with him as he does with me.    When the retreat was over, Neil and Lucien picked me up at the airport in Vancouver. “Momma!” Lucien said, and hugged me tight. “You seem so much lighter,” Neil said when he saw me, with a kiss.  I was beaming, breathing, easier in my body than I’d been in a long time.  And committed to staying that way. Do you make enough time for yourself? What part of you practice needs re-commitment? Sharing here may help you keep your intention!   Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Re-committed to Yoga

I’m about to do something radical. Something I’ve never done  before. I’m about to pack my yoga mat, board a plane, and leave Lucien for five whole days while I go on a yoga retreat.  He’s two-and-a-half and we’ve never spent a night apart. Until a few months ago when we finished breastfeeding, going away without him wasn’t even an option. (I never managed to get the hang of pumping.) I can count on both hands the days we’ve been away from each other for more than seven or eight hours.  My husband Neil has been out of town a dozen times or more.  Not jetting off to a man spa or anything. But every month or two or three he gives a talk or has an academic conference or meeting to attend in Ann Arbor or Sweden or Atlanta.  Lucien and I hold down the fort here. Now it’s my turn. Thanks to my husband (and morning day-care plus a  babysitter) I’ll be studying for five days with one of my favorite  teachers, Marla Apt, at the Feathered Pipe Ranch in Montana. I’m elated–and scared, too.  Sure, Lucien and his dad are as close as can be, but will my baby be okay without his momma? As much as I want to go on the retreat, as eager as I am to study with Marla, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. The day I signed up for the trip I practically had a panic attack and needed Neil and  two of my best friends to convince me to buy my ticket. The truth is, while I’m worried about leaving Lucien and how much we’ll miss one another, I know he’ll be fine, more than fine with his dad. They’ll have a great time. And I’m longing for the chance to rediscover my yoga practice-and myself-while on the retreat. I love being a mom and I love the pace of life with a young child, but  I need a break. What I’m most looking forward to is the stillness, the alone time, not having to run to catch a bus after Savasana. But I’m going to miss my boy like crazy. I’ll let you know how it goes… What was it like the first time you spent a night or two away from  your child or children? Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.  

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Feathered Pipe Retreat

All this World-Cup-inspired team spirit reignites the debate about yoga as a sport. Bikram has been lobbying for a Yoga Olympics for ages. One need only watch the New York Regional Yoga Championship video from New York Times to conclude that yoga is VERY challenging and amazingly beautiful and fun to watch. There are of course pros and cons to having all this attention in the yoga world. Those opposed say yoga cannot be judged and that doing so misses the point entirely. Supporters say exposure inspires children to get involved at a young age.   What do you think about yoga as a sport?  And what about some of these crazy poses…is that even good for you? More advanced poses here: Extreme Yoga Poses Join the debate: Can that be Good for You?!

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World Cup Yoga?

What’s with the naked theme? I write a blog about loving home practice, and you, some of you, write in that you love naked yoga. I write a blog about favorite poses, and you write in about naked yoga. I write a blog about meditation or chanting or acting, for goodness sake, and some of you (is it the same people? The Naked Yoga Alliance? I don’t know!) write back that you love naked yoga. Billy Connolly, the marvelous Scottish comedian, writes that he loves an ordinary love life with his wife. A meat-and-potatoes kind of lover, he is.  He’s all about comfort. It takes some self-assuredness to admit that. I feel that way about yoga. I love yoga in my flannel pajama bottoms. I start with two t-shirts and peel one off as I warm up. Sometimes I start in socks. This naked thing? I don’t know. It’d be like grocery shopping while naked, or bowling while naked, neither of which is ever going to happen, so don’t feel you should write in about those. Besides, where I live, anyone in a canoe can see me unless I downward dog in the dark.   All right, all right! I’ll try it. I’ll try it in the dark (by the park, for a lark, with a shark. I’m going all Dr. Seuss in my nervousness.). I’ll let you know how it goes. Thanks for the conversation, I think. Kristin Shepherd lives in North Bay, Ontario. She is a chiropractor, workshop facilitator, actor, writer, and parent of two grown children and a perpetually infantile dog.  Check her out, fully clothed, at kristinshepherd.ca or on Facebook at Dr. Kristin Shepherd. 

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Why Naked Yoga?

Years ago, a friend named Tracy offered me an acting tip that has become part of every on-and-off-stage day of my life. It also affects my yoga. We were in a play called Good Night Desdemona. I had to travel through time each night by disappearing through an absurdly small garbage can into, well, into the past to meet both Desdemona and Juliet. I climbed towers, faught with swords, was nearly strangled by Desdemona, and iambic pentameter-ed my way through seven enormous monologues that would have humbled Hamlet. It was a monster of a challenge. On more than one night, I cursed myself for getting something wrong–missing lines, breaking my sword (tough to fight convincingly with a sword stump), not projecting my lines from under the pillow Desdemona used to suffocate me, etc. One night, Tracy (Desdemona) heard me whacking myself to smithereens at intermission. “No way,” she said. Gotta stop that. She said we can’t afford to criticize ourselves. It takes us out of our story, out of our best skills, and it ruins our relationship with other actors and our audience. It ruins our relationship with everything to come. Practice instant forgiveness, she says. It’s the best tool there is for an actor. Everything starts again now. This morning, in a seated forward bend, I thought, holy Toledo, my hamstrings are tight. Not enough yoga and too many butter tarts yesterday. (I don’t see the relationship between the two, now, but they felt completely connected this morning.) And right behind it, like a great actor on cue, I thought; instant forgiveness, honey. Everything starts again now. Which saved the show. Thanks to Tracy for the acting lesson, and thanks to you for the conversation. Kristin practices yoga, theatre, public speaking, writing, and chiropractic in North Bay, Ontario, at kristinshepherd.ca and at Dr. Kristin Shepherd on Facebook.

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Everything Starts Again Now

Last night in New York City, I met my manager and a few others for a business meeting and afterward we went to visit a friend whose band was playing in Tribeca. It was a French bistro and they were playing Latin music.   When we arrived, no one was dancing, a contrast to every other place in the city where they pack the dance floors. The music was good enough to make a meditating monk get up and boogie. Yet still, according to the band, it’s dead like this every week despite their efforts. So my girlfriends and I, yogis all, did what we had to do. We put our purses down and created a dance floor of our own. Within 10 minutes, 20 other people came out there with us–the same ones who supposedly never dance–filling the space, and having a great time. It stayed like this for the next 2 hours until a grateful and sweaty band was packing up to go. Where as the restaurant manager was telling them to keep it down earlier in the evening, he was clapping and supporting the party by the end. He was even up there with us at one point, shaking it like a Polaroid picture. One of the band members approached us afterward and said, “It’s so much better for us to have an energy exchange we can draw from. Thank you for being in such a state of perpetual celebration!” That beautiful phrase struck me, and I realized that in order to create fun, adventure and magic wherever we go, we can each cultivate our lives into becoming constant expressions of our vitality and gratitude. The yogi understands that their innermost state is one of perpetual celebration, and then sets about doing the work it takes to keep themselves readily available to that source of love and light. If we are always dancing on the inside, then why is it so incredibly challenging to access that feeling? After all, life doesn’t always provide us with a bistro and a great band. We are sometimes asked to seek our vibrant center in the midst of heartache, grief and the stress of uncertainty. How can we find the beat when there doesn’t seem to be music at all? We can look to the yoga asanas for a clue. Our teachers ask us to enter into intense situations–like holding Warrior Two for what seems like an eternity. Then we are directed to channel the big energy of those sensations into something that lights us up, and moves us towards sparking more transformation instead of less. We do this in part by learning to understand our satya , or truth, at its most distilled essence. A more superficial reaction might tell you that your burning quads are uncomfortable, and that could be true. But it’s not your ultimate Truth, which, upon reflection, might help you see that besides being uncomfortable, that Warrior Pose is also giving you the opportunity to be powerful. Yogis don’t run away from the fire of our existence. We walk straight through. And sometimes, if we lack outer support, like that night on the empty dance floor–we simply have to go first. I remind my students that they are more than exercisers. They are conduits, channeling the heat of their inherent life force, prana, toward their most passionate expressions of who they are. This results in a strong, supple body, a mind able to focus on what matters, stories that we re-write to be empowering, and engaging in one of the  foundational practices of yoga–dissolving resistance to our greatness wherever we find it. In this way, yogis face down any fear, any difficulty and endure the sensations of suffering until they find a way to use it to their advantage. Even if no one else is on the dance floor with you and you feel alone, your heart is breaking or people are disappointing your expectations, you can dive into that perpetual celebration inside, and even through your tears, bow to your next doorway to wisdom, integrity and living out loud. Say “thank you” first–then, get to dancing! Core Pose: Dancing Fan Pose This is a favorite variation on Fan Pose, one I use whenever I want to loosen up my legs, and access my creative source energy that can too often become constricted by tight hips. Come into Fan, feet parallel, and spaced wide enough apart so you can bring your palms to the floor or onto a block. Begin to bend one knee, and stretch into the inner thigh of the straighter leg even as you build heat in the bent one. Make sure to maintain healthy alignment with your knees always facing the same direction as your toes. You can get more wild and free with this movement, swaying from side to side as one leg bands, then the other, or try a longer hold if you’re loving the stretch. This will help you remove obstacles to your inherent sense of play, freedom and ability to dance  anywhere, any time. Do Dancing Fan for one minute or more.  

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Perpetual Celebration

I love yoga because of its solitary nature. An early morning coffee, my lovely man and dog still in bed, me shuffling to the living room in pajama pants and a t-shirt. Darkness in winter, green grass and blue lake in front of me in summer. This is good, good, good. The other side of this is that I often have elaborate get-togethers during my practice. This morning was like this. My daughter is in China. I miss her beautiful face. So, during Warrior II, I reach my fingertips forward and back and imagine my arms growing, circling the world until I can hold her face with both hands. In seated forward bends, I think of one of my best friends, Riesa, who lives on the other side of the country. She taught me some of my favorite forward bends ten years ago. I miss her voice today. My mom shows up when I’m trying to open my hips. I suspect we’d both love to be more flexible with each other. And at the end of my practice, when the time comes to offer the fruits of practice to someone who might benefit (we do this in class, sometimes), I send my love and thanks to Nancy, a theater friend who passed away recently. She was still here when I came back to yoga 8 or 9 months ago. I got into the habit of sending her strength and courage and just kept on after she passed away. My hope is she’s out there somewhere, happy to receive the love. Who knew home practice could be such a gathering place? It also makes me wonder who you’re with when you practice.  I’d love to hear. Thanks to yoga for uniting us all, and thanks to you for the conversation. Kristin Shepherd practices yoga, theatre, public speaking, writing, and chiropractic in North Bay, Ontario. Contact her at kristinshepherd.ca and at Dr. Kristin Shepherd on Facebook.

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Union

I used to think asana practice required a yoga mat, sweats-or maybe even “yoga clothes”-a quiet indoor space, and time. (Lots of it.) Lately, Lucien has been teaching me that none of these are necessary. Thanks to my two year old, I’m starting to realize-after more than ten years of consistent practice-that yoga can be practiced in spurts, a pose here and a pose there.  Yesterday we were in the backyard gathering vegetables from our garden for dinner. I noticed that both Lucien and I were in Malasana pose as we clipped and gathered the kale and spinach. Later that evening during Lucien’s bath, my husband Neil and I were amazed to see Lucien sitting in Virasana for twenty minutes straight while he played with his rubber duck and wooden boat.  This morning, when Neil and Lucien came to wake me up, Lucien put one hand on a laundry hamper temporarily stashed in the bedroom, and stretched the opposite side leg onto the bed, inadvertently coming into a beautiful Utthita Hasta Padangustasana. (He’s a natural.)  I’ve decided to take a lesson from Lucien and add a pose here or there into my daily activities-a shoulder stretch while I’m at my desk working, a triangle pose while hanging out with Lucien in the kitchen. The other day Lucien skipped his nap-a bummer for me since I’d been going all day. He wasn’t sleepy, but I needed a break. While Lucien played on the floor in the living room with his trains, I laid down next to him in a bare-bones Savasana.  It was just a minute or two or three, and I was in my jeans, but you know what? It was bliss. What poses do you mix into your day?  What has your child taught you about yoga lately? Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Malasana in the Garden

Last night I did something I never thought I’d do in a million years. I quit teaching. More specifically, I’ve stopped teaching my public classes during the week. This is a very big deal for me. I have been holding weekly classes at various studios for 15 years, and it’s so surreal that next week no classroom will await me. There are, however, a lot of other things on my plate and I’m going to now use the time between teaching workshops to focus on taking care of the details that maintain my career: writing, planning curriculum, creating new content, and making meetings. I’d also like to fit in a social life! I know that I’m lucky and blessed to be making this decision at all. Yet walking away from my classes was a real challenge for me. I adore my students, many of whom have been with me for years, and at any other time in my career, I would have been over the moon to have a room full of eager faces awaiting me each night. But it’s not doing anyone any favors when I’m gone for three weeks at a time. You just can’t cultivate consistent relationships that way. I find that the more I work toward my dreams, the reality of living my yoga gets more intense. The types of choices I must make have shifted that way too. It used to be that my options were more clear-cut, between something I wanted and something I didn’t. For example, I once had to pick whether I wanted to become a telemarketer for a tobacco company or teach yoga at a popular studio. Now, as I refine my options, it’s getting tougher to tell which road is best. Like this choice: Giving up my weekly classes in order to fully focus between travel engagements, or trying to do it all and reaping the benefits of every possible teaching opportunity. It’s often easier when the choices life presents to us are no-brainers, but how do we navigate the ones that are confusing? Yoga teaches us that there can be bhavana, or a healing quality, to the choices we make and actions we take. I say “can be” because we also have the power to choose the path of duhkha, or suffering. In my own experience, I see each fork in the road as an opportunity to do something that’s either constructive or destructive to my ultimate goals of creativity, health, love, and happiness. And, like anything in life, which direction your next step follows depends on a variety of factors. You must take into account your goals, core values, state of vitality, personal needs, other opportunities, and your current circumstances. A year ago, giving up my classes would have been ludicrous and potentially harmful to my goal of teaching only yoga. But now, the responsibility and energy they require is keeping me from giving my full attention to the other responsibilities I’ve taken on. When you keep moving towards bhavana, and walking the way of more life, more love, and more freedom, you’ll begin to see that even the most seemingly unclear choices suddenly come into sharper focus. Do you want the chocolate cake or the salad? The answer to both questions may be yes, each for good reasons. But which is going to invite in your highest, most integrity-filled and conscious self-expression? It depends. And which choice is right, right now, is entirely up to you. Core Pose: Root Release I teach this posture to help students access the healing energy at their source. You can do it between poses or any time you want to unlock and unleash the creative, nourishing, vital force that’s found in the pelvic area. Lie on your back. Bend your knees and cover your kneecaps with your palms. Press down strongly on your knees so the thighbones deepen into the hip joints. You want to ground through the leg bones, not pull the knees into your chest as you do in some other poses. Relax your legs and hips completely, and, maintaining the downward pressure on your knees, roll your legs in circles, shake them out, and dissolve any areas of tension you might have accumulated during your practice or your day. Enjoy the root release for one minute then move on to your next adventure.  

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Making the Tough Choices

My husband Neil–an exceptionally dedicated father, and an equally dedicated workaholic–goes to yoga class on Sunday mornings. This is a miracle ten years in the making. While Neil has always loved the feeling of stretching himself out in an asana class, finding the time in his busy schedule has been a struggle. The only time he attended class faithfully was years ago when I was teaching yoga in the evenings down the road from the college where he was a professor. For a long time after that, Neil would take a class here and there, or very occasionally practice at home, but he never managed to build in a regular practice. Neil, a sociologist, loves his work, and he works very hard. He also puts in a lot of time with Lucien. Unlike me, he never takes the occasional Saturday afternoon to meet a friend, go on a bike ride, or read in the hammock for an hour–on the weekends he’s either hanging out with the family, doing errands for us, or working. With little-to-no personal downtime, I knew how much yoga could help him. The physical benefits of asana practice would be a perfect antidote to his hours at the computer, and the peace of resting in Savasana at the end of class might be the only complete relaxation he’d have all week. But there’s no forcing someone into a yoga practice. Sure, Neil wanted to find time for yoga class, but he wanted to be with Lucien and me and work more. Much more. Every so often, though, I’d bring up the topic. “Wouldn’t you like to…?” I’d ask him, suggesting an evening level 1/2 class offered by my teacher.  But I didn’t push–not too hard, anyway. On his own, after some trial and error, Neil finally found a class that works for him. It’s a Sunday morning “men’s class” at my Iyengar center. At first we worried about losing our Sunday morning family time–the one morning of the week we all have together, since I often take Saturday mornings to catch up on my writing and on the laundry.  We needn’t have worried.  “Daddy doing yoga,” as Lucien calls it when Neil heads to class, has had an entirely positive effect on our family. And Neil doesn’t need to be convinced to go, either! While he hasn’t made it to class every Sunday morning (see my previous posts on how sick we’ve been!), he has gone most mornings since signing up. Lucien and I use the time to host a play date in the backyard, or just to be together. Neil comes home by noon–rejuvenated, rested, relaxed and ready for the week. Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Daddy Does Yoga

My Tuesday noon class follows a morning of work for me, work which involves reasonably serious conversations with reasonably serious adults. Then I whip into my office at 11:30, change into my yoga duds, and drive over to the studio, arriving ridiculously early for my 12:15 class. In fact, when I arrive, they’re still sweeping up Cheerios from the floor.  Moms carry babies on their hips, all of them completely relaxed after a moms-and-tots class. I love this. I put my mat down in the back corner, and dream about being a yoga baby. In this dream, my body has no resistance. I flop forward and sweep my hands across the floor. My head turns like an owl. I do somersaults for the fun of it.   In this dream class, I laugh whenever I feel like it. I also sing: This Little Light of Mine, or Baby Beluga, or You Are My Sunshine. I dance while I sing. We all do, in this class. I eat the odd raisin or Cheerio off the floor.  I drink hot chocolate out of one of those sippy cups.I hang out in Child’s Pose when I get tired.  I have a nap if I feel like it. And someone carries me out at the end. I like that part the best. I am so into this dream that by the time my real class starts, I am about 4 years old. Do you have a dream class? I’d love to hear about it. Thanks to all of you yoga moms and yoga babies for the inspiration,and thanks to you for the conversation.

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Yoga Babies

Hi guys, I hope you haven’t been feeling left out of my outfit picks, because this week is all about the men! I know many of us, ladies included, often fall back on the standard black and white palette, but don’t be afraid of a little color. It radiates such great energy. I also know you certainly don’t need a hat in yoga class, but this one by Prana was so cool I couldn’t resist. Overall I was impressed with Prana’s men’s collection. Nice basic pieces with a few suprises thrown in. I also adore Toms shoes for men and the ladies, great style and a great cause. the details: Impact Sleeveless shirt by Prana $32.00 Ultra Shorts by Patagonia $55.00 Straw Fedora by Prana $32.00 Paper Tote Bag by Peasants and Travelers $88.00 Grey Heezen/Burlap Men’s Stitchouts shoes by Toms $58.00 Revolution Natural Sticky Mat $90.00

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Wish I was Wearing: Dude Duds

Students often come up to me after my Core Strength Vinyasa Yoga workshops and tell me how surprised they were about what they learned. Many of them didn’t expect the kind of information they got during a class they walked into thinking was going to just target their abs for two hours. That’s because I teach that the core is more than just the abdominals. Abs are an integral part of yoga, or any movement form, to be sure. They help stabilize and mobilize most everything we do, on or off the mat. However, they are only one aspect of what gives us the power to be strong and resilient in our practices and in our lives. Whenever I teach core work, I always interplay the abdominal actions with their muscular counterparts, such as the erector muscles along the spine, which help keep the abs in check. I also discuss and work with the diaphragm to make sure we’re able to keep our core resilient enough to enjoy the freedom of the breath. Anatomy and yoga experts like Tom Myers, author of Anatomy Trains , and my mentor Leslie Kaminoff, author of Yoga Anatomy , tell us that the abdominals link up and communicate with other muscles in fluid lines that run from the feet to the head.  I love to see students’ faces light up when they find out they have a “core” body running close to the skeleton that they can access to amplify the effectiveness of any pose. But there’s more. In addition the holistic nature of the abs (for example, what you do with your rectus abdominis muscle affects the whole front line of your body) this root area contains so much latent energy waiting to be accessed. It also harbors our most personal fears, the very resistance that often blocks us from realizing our inner truth. Making a core connection might begin with working and releasing the more obvious outer body, but the yogi learns to sense the more subtle world within–whether this is the quietly powerful core myofascial line, the still space between the thoughts, the unwavering heart at center, or the soulful state of being aligned with who you really are.   All of this awareness leads us straight to one place: satya , or the practice of honesty. In my experience, being true to yourself comes from developing a consistent relationship with your inner nature of goodness, clarity, and peace. When you can tap into this part of you, an ocean of energy and wisdom opens. Once you find your way to the deep water inside, you can always return, even as you express what you’ve found out into your world. Your satya will always be there, offering a sometimes-surprising perspective that can truly rock your world from the core. CORE POSE : Eagle Curl Here’s one of my signature Core Poses to target your abs that also lets you practice being uber-honestly you. It’s hip and shoulder opener even as you work your rectus abdominis (the six-pack) and transversus abdominis (the girdle that wraps from sides to front of the torso) muscles.  The bound arms and legs means that you can’t rely on them as much for support, so the movement of this posture has to come almost entirely from the abs. Come onto your back. Wrap your left arm over your right at the elbow, and your right leg over your left leg at the knee, as in Garudasana (Eagle Pose). Both legs are lifted with your left knee stacked over the hip joint. Inhale with your shoulders and head on the floor. Exhale and firm your belly to curl your shoulders and head up, so just the tips of your shoulderblades remain on the floor. Don’t move your knees closer to your arms, but do try to touch your left elbow to them. Do 5-15 repetitions of this pose then lie flat on your back with legs long and arms overhead. Take a few belly-stretching breaths. Note: If this variation is too intense on your neck, place your fingertips into the back of your head and do the pose this way. Be mindful not to yank yourself into the pose with your arm strength, but use the abdominals to initiate the movement.      

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The Whole Core

My lovely man is in the shower. He’s got yoga class in an hour. He’s pretty excited. Me too.   I do Vinyasa and Ashtanga classes at the moment. He takes Yin Yoga. You probably know more about that than I do.  What I do know is that ten years ago I might have spent time and energy trying to convince him that my form of yoga is so fantastic that he’d be better off in my class. With my teacher.  My chanting. At my favorite hour of the day. On my kind of yoga mat. In my corner in the back row.  And on and on into ridiculousness. I was a little bit inflexible, which defeats the purpose, don’t you think? I was also chronically bored, which is what happens when I only listen to what I’ve already said 47 times before. I’m happy to say that at the age of 48 I’m just now learning to let the hostages go.  To let others choose for themselves and to be happy with what that brings me. What does it bring me? Hours of discussion about Yin Yoga, for one. It sounds fantastic. I’ll try it in the fall. The second thing it brings me is the idea that although yoga is about union, it is also an enormous and varied collection of beautiful ways to explore and take care of ourselves. I can hardly wait to hear what yoga you love and why. Thanks to yoga for helping me release the hostages, and thanks to you for the conversation.

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Release the Hostages

For the rest of my life, when the subject of PopTarts comes up, I’ll either have to tell shifty-eyed lies or I’ll have to tell the truth. I’ll start with the truth right now. I’ve been away all week at a theatre festival.  This means hotel beds, hotel roommates, late nights, and crazy food–meat or soy balls covered in sweet sauces, served on toothpicks that really add up on your plate. More cheese and crackers than you’ve eaten in your life, and the kinds of sweet squares we all serve at weddings, funerals, board meetings–you know these things. Day One. I begin the week like an angel.  An hour of yoga at 5:30 am in the hotel gym.  I grab a corner of the room, squeeze myself between two treadmills and a wall-to-wall mirror, and do my best on a concrete floor covered in stained indoor-outdoor carpet.  It isn’t class, but it’s okay. Day Two. At 5:30 am, I do 45 minutes of yoga, which is pretty great given four hours of sleep and a really puffy face. (Is it the salt?  The meat/soyballs?)  It’s no fun staring at a bloated version of your own face in a mirror the size of Canada.  And all those people thumping on treadmills, jeez.  Not to mention CNN on the TV. Om. Day Three.   At 5:15 am, because my roommate is snoring and I can’t sleep anyway, I do 30 minutes of yoga in the hallway outside my room on the 10th floor of the hotel.  The carpet is thicker here, and I’m not up to the social thing with the weightlifters, the runners, and the mirror. My face is the puffiest yet.  I’ve been eating sauce balls at midnight for three days.  Why don’t I stop eating them?  I have no idea. This was a good morning of yoga.  I prepare for a wee Savasana at the end.  I lie down. Suddenly a man emerges–naked–from the room across the hall to retrieve his newspaper from the floor outside his door.   He yells.  I yell.  Then he screams: “I’m sorry!” and flees back into his room. I am too rattled for Savasana.    Day Four. I don’t do any yoga this morning. Instead, I sit in the hallway at 5am and read bad news from the newspaper outside my door.  I open and eat the first PopTart of my life.  (It was in a goodie bag we were given on arrival.  I laughed at the absurdity of PopTarts then.  I’m not laughing now.)  It is not my finest moment.  Not my finest day. Day Five.  At Home. Here’s the lesson for me: I’m human.  I do well on some days, and some days I forget everything I’ve learned about yoga, decent food, and kindness to myself. I can hardly wait for class tomorrow. What reminds you to get back to your practice? Thanks to PopTarts, naked men, and meat/soyballs, which help me understand, again, how beautiful yoga is. And thanks to you for the conversation.

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PopTart Yoga

My absolute favorite color for summer is turquoise, so this week I thought I’d put together a cheerful outfit for you with my love of the blues in mind. I’m also still in bargain hunting mode, so this entire outfit is again just a little over $100.00. Is there a color you like to wear that cheers you up? What’s your absolute favorite color for summertime? the details: Straw Bag from H&M–$19.95 New Wave V-Neck Icon Tank by Marika from Target–$19.99 Striped Sports Bra from Forever 21–$6.80 Fitted Bootcut C9 pant by Champion from Target–$19.99 Gaiam Wisdom Yoga Mat Bag from Target–$19.99 Scarf from Forever 21–$7.80 Lotus and Koi Earrings from Forever 21–$3.80

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Wish I was Wearing: Thrifty Turquoise

I’m in Omaha to teach a workshop, but since I had the weekend free, I decided to drive to Chicago to catch a soccer game, or football as it’s known in the rest of the world. It was the Chicago Fire versus AC Milan, a world-class Italian team. Since I love the game and have never seen a live match, I decided this would be a great place to start.   Football is known as The Beautiful Game for its breathtaking fluidity and graceful skill.   You can see it exemplified by the Brazilian national teams in 1958, 1970, and 1982. A friend, who is also a soccer player, explained that when kids grow up playing football in parks or on the street in countries like Brazil, where some of the most gorgeous playing styles originate, they are free to be creative, take risks, and play with abandon. When organized teams and rules and structured positions get involved, not to mention the financial influence and pressures of playing at the top levels, it gets harder to invoke the more expansive spirit of the game. The essence of joga bonito , or to “play beautifully,” is at risk of being lost.     When it comes to yoga, life, soccer, or anything we do, some structure can be necessary. We align our poses, we pay our bills, and we join teams.   However, focusing only on the outer form of any activity can pull us up into the head, and in that place, it’s easy to forget the heart.   I used to be fixated on lining up my big toe just so, or by making sure there was always a perfect line from my middle finger to my elbow to shoulder in Warrior II. And don’t even get me started on Handstand. Then one day I ran into John Friend at an ashram, and asked him, “If there was only one thing you could teach your students from now on, what would it be?” I thought for sure he would pick some physical alignment point, a loop or spiral that was particularly crucial. He thought about my question for a good long moment, smiled, and said, “I would tell them: Always remember to float in the heart essence of every pose.”   His answer literally took my breath away. Human nature is one of goodness and creative energy, or shakti, as John might point out. As yogis, we not only try to line up with these aspects through the principles of alignment, but we have a responsibility to embody them from the inside out. Instead of creating poses that look good from the outside but feel nothing beyond the muscles, asanas can become a dance from the core, expression organically rippling outward from our inner connection to joy.     At times like this, watching AC Milan’s incredible Brazilian soccer star Ronaldinho sassily back-kick the ball with his heel and laugh, even though there is a lot at stake, I again remind myself of this. Getting stuck in the mind or in rules, responsibilities, or stories can squeeze the life out of real moments like a mental boa constrictor.   Within your own structures, can you let go? Can you allow a deep soul-sighing relaxation to occur and a lightness and passion to arise–and let yourself play The Beautiful Game every day from the heart?   Here’s a pose to help you remember how.   Core Pose: Half Bound Ardha Chandrasana   I call this pose Flying Bow, because it makes the shape of Dhanurasana (Bow Pose) with the top arm and leg, and allows you to feel like you’re floating the pose high above the Earth.   It also lowers the head in surrender to the heart, and cultivates the rooted freedom that is the goal of any yogi.   Stand at the front of your mat and bend your knees. Fold into a gentle forward bend, widen your hands slightly more than shoulder-distance apart, and come onto the fingertips. Power your right foot into the ground as you bring your left knee into your chest. Take hold of your left ankle in your left hand.   Maintain an engaged lower belly and long tailbone as you begin to roll your left shoulder back and lift your bound leg toward the sky as you straighten your standing leg. Try to press the left foot into your hand, and arch into a heart-opening backbend. Remember to ground the standing foot, especially the big toe mound, for counter balance.   Aim for 5-10 breaths here then release into a forward bend with bent knees before doing the pose on the other side.     Note: If this pose isn’t accessible to you with a straight standing leg, try bending the knee, using a strap to hold the lifted foot, or just reaching for the foot as best you can.        

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The Beautiful Game

I was at a meditation retreat last week. Do you know what they’re like? Grainy, leafy food in portions your pet fish couldn’t survive on, no talking, no reading, no car keys, no wallet, no calling home. It isn’t Club Med. Just meditating, dawn ’till after dusk. It can be lonely. But some fantastic things happen.    Here is one very cool thing.  Picture this: 5am, maybe.  (No watches.)  Still dark out, anyway. I come out of my room each morning, slowly and silently, and head toward the meditation hall, dressed in pajamas. As I walk down the hall, every third or fourth door opens, and another person in pajamas comes out, quietly closing a door behind her.  We look like something from a zombie movie, except that some of the zombies have mats under their arms. We walk in bare feet to the hall where we each pick a spot on the floor. We begin our practice. All you can hear is breathing and the soft thuds of feet jumping forward and back. It’s impromptu Mysore.  No one organized or announced it. It goes on for perhaps forty minutes, people drifting in and out of the hall.  All of this happens before we begin meditating for the day. And, holy mackerel, even though we don’t speak, don’t even look at each other for the most part, even though we’re about to begin another grueling day of seated meditation, I am deliriously happy. I don’t want to leave the impression that meditating is awful from start to finish. Other very cool things that happen on these retreats are an empty, quiet head and a sense of peace that will knock you over if you let it.  I love it. Days later I can still feel it. I feel a need to express some thanks to these zombie yogis. They were my family away from home.  We showed up for each other first thing in the morning on days when it mattered. So to these men and women I don’t know, and to the ones I do know but didn’t say a word to: thank you, thank you, thank you.You made meditating a little easier, and you made me fall in love with yoga all over again. Thanks to yoga zombies for making me fall in love with yoga, and thanks to you for the conversation.

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Yoga Zombies

Though I sometimes wish I could splurge on the many outfits I put together for my blog and here at Yoga Journal , the reality is that it is not always possible. In these tough economic times I like to be a serious bargain hunter. I challenged myself this week to see what I could come up with on a budget. This entire outfit, shoes, bag, and yoga mat are just a little over $100.00 combined. the details: Funnel-neck Active Zip Jacket   oldnavy.com $15.00 Sports Bra   forever21.com $11.80 Fold-Over Yoga Capris  oldnavy.com   $16.50 Washed Small Cross Body Bag  topshop.com $36.00 Damask Gaiam Yoga Mat   target.com   $19.99 Silver Metallic Gladiator Sandals   oldnavy.com $17.99

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Wish I was Wearing: Bargain Hunters

I’d love to thank a couple of Yoga Journal readers who commented on a blog I posted about morning practice. Both Ty and Kelly said things about wishing they could summon the discipline or the inspiration to do morning practice.  I found myself shouting back to them when I read their lovely comments.  Turns out they can’t hear me when I’m shouting. So I’ll say this in writing. First, there are experts to listen to.  So don’t listen to me unless it inspires you. I’m a yoga weenie.  So new I squeak. But here’s one weenie’s thought on the subject of building a home practice. I started my home practice in three minutes one night on my living room carpet. I did it because I found Friday tough.  I loved my Tuesday class but I was doing drive-bys on Fridays. Do you know about those? You drive to class and your car goes right by.  You drive by again and you end up at home, eating S&V chips and wishing you had some willpower. I was up to it on Tuesday but not at the end of the week. So I did two Sun Salutations one night. I liked it. It grew slowly, slowly from there. Three Sun Salutations. Four Sun Salutations and a quickie Warrior II. Five Sun Salutations, Warrior II, and Savasana. And so it went.   One of the huge reasons I’m so into yoga is that it is DELICIOUS. In my home practice, I follow delicious as it gets bigger and longer.  It’s like following a trail of chocolate brownies, but better. To Ty and Kelly, I hope this is helpful in some way.  If not, keep looking and you’ll find the answer that inspires you.  In the meantime: thanks to all who comment for your thoughts, and thanks to you for continuing the conversation.

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Following Delicious: Build Your Home Practice One Bite at a Time

Spoiler alert: This post is for viewers who have already seen the series finale of LOST.  Did you see last night’s Lost finale ? Help me out here, fellow yogis. Having struggled (largely in vain) to follow all the abstruse clues and connections throughout the show’s six-year history, I was tempted–in the end–to draw a very simple conclusion. Here it is: The characters on the island were there to burn off their karma and get liberated–not just from the island, but from the wheel of incarnation altogether. Forget good and evil, black smoke and white smoke, polar bears and logoed sharks, the Dharma Initiative and the “others,” and all those other distractions. In the end, they were simple window dressing. The real story for these characters was–as it always is–internal. They were waking up, realizing interconnection, and learning that the self is eternal, transcending time and place and circumstance. (That dance we saw between the truth of “none of this matters” and “all of this matters”–pure Tantra.) By the time they gathered in that chapel at the end–did you get a glimpse of that groovy stained glass window with the Om symbol?–they were beyond the cycle of birth and death. (”There is no ‘now’ here,” Jack’s dead father, Christian explained.) They were not just drenched in the white light of the island’s heart, but rather completely enlightened. Do you agree? Have an alternative theory? Share your thoughts: What the heck WAS that all about; sounds like yoga to me, but what do you think?

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Finding Yoga in LOST Finale

This week I have an appointment with one of the biggest TV networks. I’m slightly excited but mostly just curious. I’m not sure what will happen, only that I’ll sit with a few producers who have never met me in order to explain, in 45 minutes or less, who I am and my idea for a show. Actually, according to Malcolm Gladwell, author of Blink , I will have more like 2 to 4 seconds.   Gladwell’s research shows that people can tell in this short a time whether they like, trust, or are attracted to you, or if they feel a situation is right for them.  These judgments are made based on your appearance and the inner energy that people sense from you, before you’ve even said a word. Yogis have known this for a while. Only we call it prajna , or inner wisdom. Since I can only pick out an outfit that represents me (check, including my lucky nickel necklace), eat well and do my yoga so I’m healthy (check), and go in there prepared and with my best intentions in mind (check), my inner wisdom tells me to surrender the rest and enjoy the moment for what it is. Yet the thing is, this 4-second knowing isn’t always accurate. Sometimes people who dislike each other at first meeting end up becoming lifelong soulmates. Or you can make an assumption about someone and be totally off-base. (I once saw what I thought was a homeless couple in Los Angeles, and then realized it was Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt dressed in the grunge fashion of the day.) There’s a fine line between the instant awareness of truth that comes to us when we live close to our center and the snap judgments born of fear, ego, or confusion that often masquerade as intuition. In life, which can be loud, unpredictable, and filled to the brim with other people’s assumptions, opinions, and perspectives, it’s important for the yogi to meet the world from a place of inner quiet and the kind of understanding that wells up from somewhere deep inside. But to really trust that truth, instead of thinking or rationalizing it to death, you first have to be able to hear it. The yogic art of pratyahara , the fifth limb of  Patanjali’s eightfold path of ashtanga yoga, can help. Pratyahara is the action of drawing your attention back to the core of your being, where all voices are muted except for your innermost one. The life-changing thing I’ve learned through yoga is that it’s much easier to draw inward when you don’t try to resist the outer cacophony of the world at large or even the internal noise generated by your mental and emotional plat du jour . Instead, the yogi learns to exist in two places at once–engaging in relationship with outer stimuli and yet constantly checking in with her core wisdom.  I think of this as a kind of dual drishti –where your gaze and attention simultaneously remain on the world around you and the world within. And until you learn to hear that wisdom, seeking inner guidance will be more like asking a random stranger how to get somewhere rather than creating a road map for yourself–of yourself–that you can use anywhere and at anytime. The following technique can help you develop pratyahara and stay in communication with your inner navigator through all the adventures that lie ahead!   Core Meditation : Dual Drishti Meditation Come into Sukasana (Easy Pose). Root your sitting bones into the Earth and feel a corresponding lift of support through your lower belly and spine. Close your eyes and breathe slowly and evenly through your nose. Bring your awareness first to the sounds and sensations occurring outside of you, in the room and beyond the building. Then notice the sensations on your skin, the thoughts rolling through your mind, and whether your heart is calm or in emotional turmoil. Simply observe all these things as if you were people-watching from a sidewalk café, holding onto no one thing in particular for long. Whatever predominates in your focus, witness it, and then let it pass. Let your breath help you soften any urge to resist or engage any of these sounds or feelings. Even as your attention remains on this first aspect of your experience, bring it to the subtler peaceful space at your center. You can focus on the pit of the belly as a symbolic location for this core, but then let the calm, abiding energy become part of your whole being. As you remain conscious of whatever is going on externally, use its ebb and flow to provide context for what is unwavering deep inside of you. Can you train your attention to be present in these two places at once? When you do, you’ll begin to notice that as you hone your inner gaze, the outer one will soften and broaden, dissolving its power to limit your vision into judgment or reactivity. Breathe and be with this practice for 5 minutes or more.                  

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Learning to Listen–to Yourself

This week I’m in Los Angeles for meetings with two TV networks to discuss a show idea. We’ll see what comes out of it–could be something or nothing. This is my week of practicing no expectations, and it’s hard not to “what-if” the situation to death, let me tell you! In the midst of preparing my show proposal, I got an email from a Facebook friend, Scott. He asked if I could reach out to someone he knew who had been following my videos online and might need a word of support. I told him it would be my pleasure, and started a sweet and rewarding correspondence with his friend. In gratitude for my help, Scott asked if I needed any graphic design work done–a logo, something for my website, whatever. I realized that my dowdy Word document proposal could use a little makeover to get ready for these meetings. So I asked Scott if he could take a look and add some flair. He not only designed an amazing logo, he added touches all over the proposal, including a front and back cover. Basically, he took my pumpkin and turned it into a chariot, something I never could have done on my own. The amazing thing is, he asked for nothing in return. When I asked what I could do to repay him, he said, “No way. I just know how it is, to want to chase a dream–a destiny–and to be able to get assistance makes the experience even more transforming.” Then he said one of the most noble things I’ve ever heard: “It would go against my beliefs if I was able to help you and did not.” Wow. Double wow.  Of course, this selflessness made me want to give back to him even more strongly. We each have something to give: a skill, assistance, a door that only we can open for another. When we do this without thought of reward, it becomes seva , or selfless service, according to the yogic path. Now, some people believe that if they help one person, they’ll have to help everyone. That’s only true if you’re not willing to set boundaries or are not sensitive to when your help is truly moving someone forward. It’s responsible to say no when doing so would be a drain to you or not a healthy support mechanism for the person. But none of us can do it all alone–and there are times when to refuse help is just plain energetically greedy. This ends up manifesting more lack for everyone involved, and the karmic wheel continues to turn.  The yogi learns to know the difference. If we consciously and freely offer seva at pivotal moments, we not only gain the energy of awareness and freedom in our own lives, we do one better. We help to change the world by letting in more goodness and more light. If we would all remove roadblocks for one other, while still focusing on our own life’s work, think of how much farther and faster we could go. Core Action: What could you do to make a clear road ahead for someone you know?  Core Pose: Malasana Twist This is a fantastic posture that gives you the benefits of a twist, low-back releaser, and hip opener all in one. It will free more energy for you to give–out, or in, as you wish!  Enjoy. Come into Malasana (Garland Pose) with feet wide and toes turned out the same direction as your knees.  Place your right elbow inside the right knee, and revolve your chest to the left as you stretch your left arm into the air. Lengthen through your spine as you breathe to release out your side and back body.  Hold for 5-10 breaths then switch to the other side. End with a forward fold in Malasana. Reach your arms in front of you, resting palms on the floor, and relax for a few breaths in this neutral posture.  

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Paying it Forward

Photo: Blissed out in my favorite restorative.  It’s Lucien’s nap time, 2:30 in the afternoon, and the house is blissfully quiet. I’ve been going all day, in full productivity mode–writing, work emails, laundry, and a few hours of Lucien-care.  What I really want to do now, in this precious hour before afternoon playtime and dinner and bath, is curl up on the couch and watch Oprah. But it’s time to do yoga. (Lucien’s nap time is the only time of day I can consistently fit a home practice in.)  I wish I could say I bound off the couch and into my yoga corner every afternoon, but the truth is that most days I have to drag myself there. More often than not, my practice is a restorative sequence done wearing wool socks.  Some days I rally for standing poses and active back bends. Usually, though, I take a “yoga nap,” as my close friend Kristen Rentz Lewis, fellow mom and author of  YogaNap: Restorative Poses for Deep Relaxation,  calls it.   My absolute favorite restorative pose right now is Ardha Halasana , Supported Half-Plow Pose with a chair.  It’s helped me with everything from headaches to exhaustion, from anxiety to getting over a cold.  The catch is–I can’t get into the pose comfortably without doing several other poses first.  And so, I begin my practice.  Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclining Bound Angle Pose), Ado Mukha Svanasana (Downward-Facing Dog Pose), a headstand, a shoulder stand with the chair.  My baby monitor is on, and yes, I confess that at first I do check my iPhone in between poses for incoming emails!  But twenty minutes in, I’m always glad to be practicing.  Most days I manage to practice for an hour, and sometimes even more.  And then, if Lucien is still sleeping–fingers crossed–I get on the couch and see what’s on Oprah. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom with a never ending to-do list, or at the office all day and need every moment at home to take care of your household and connect with your children, give yourself the gift of at least a few restorative poses done at home, in a quiet place, each week. Here are some great resources for developing a restorative home practice: The Woman’s Book of Yoga and Health: A Lifelong Guide to Wellness   (see the chapter on restoratives) by Linda Sparrowe and Patricia Walden Relax and Renew: Restful Yoga for Stressful Times   by Judith Lasater YogaNap: Restorative Poses for Deep Relaxation   by Kristen Rentz What’s your favorite restorative pose?  How do you spend nap time?   –Jessica Berger Gross Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer   (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Yoga Nap

I mentioned I was visiting Toronto on the weekend, going to a new yoga studio for the first time, and doing a class with my sister (and my nephew, it turns out). I was nervous about venturing away from my home studio, and I wanted to share a few things I learned from toeing my comfort line: 1. Sun Salutations are not so different from place to place. This makes me very happy. No matter where I travel–now–I can find a home. Makes me feel warm all over, thinking that. 2. Speaking of warm all over, the studio I visited was a few degrees warmer than my home base. It only mattered when I stood up from one of those hanging my head poses (just a second, I’ll look it up – aha!) when I stood up from Prasarita Padottanasana (Wide-Legged Forward Bend), and came the closest I’ve ever come to fainting. Maybe that’s peri-menopause. Maybe it’s a surge of some fantastic yogi energy. I don’t know; it’s a new yoga mystery. 3. The chanting was completely different in this class. And it was fast. It was like trying to sing the Italian national anthem. 4. Bandas. What are they? I think I understand the idea of Bandas, but I do not have any control over them yet. Foolishly, I asked our teacher Oliver to pick a pose for our photograph (see above). This pose (I’m not looking this one up. I’ll look it up when I’m 76, when I might be able to do it!) requires some Banda control. It’s his favorite pose. It’s my least favorite pose. I just sit on the floor and make faces. 5. Speaking of faces, my head was recently shaved for a theatre production. I look like a 13-year-old boy at the moment. It’s not my favorite look. It occurs to me that I may never end up on the cover of Yoga Journal. 6. I love my sister Tory and my nephew Stefano. There’s nothing like doing a yoga class with people you love.  7. I learned again that I adore yoga. Thanks to everyone and everything that brought me here, including Tory, Stef, and Oliver. I’d like to know who would you love to do yoga with, if you could do it with anyone? Thanks to yoga for helping me grow, and thanks to you for the conversation. –Kristin Shepherd

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Cover Girl

Last night I went to ninja school. OK, that’s not its technical name, but the ancient martial art of ninjitsu is one of the forms I will be studying each week at a dojo in New York City. I’ve been interested in martial arts since I was young, but it took me until now to sign up for a class. What does this have to do with yoga? Well, after 15 years of practicing asana, I wanted to shake things up a bit. Specifically, I am attracted to the experience of beginner’s mind that is foundational in every mindful-movement style. And what better way to do this than to become an actual beginner at something once again?  I can easily bring a sense of the beginner’s perspective in the form of curiosity and openness to even my most repetitive yoga poses. And I learn a lot that way. But it’s not the same as actually beginning a new process.  There’s nothing quite like the feeling of stepping into the complete unknown and confronting the real fear that arises from doing something that you never have before. But as I entered the dojo for my first class, I understood that what I was experiencing wasn’t fear as much as it was excitement. I also recognized that this would be another opportunity to practice saucha , or cleanliness. Now, I took a shower and came into the dojo without perfume, and with nails clipped and hair back as instructed. But the type of cleaning I’m talking about goes deeper than the outer form. By purposefully stepping into a situation where I had no idea what to expect, I was organically cleared of expectation. I didn’t have a historical context to compare this moment to or experience to draw from. So I just listened, and enjoyed the clarity that comes from finding oneself with a washed-clean mind, heart, and history. My yoga practice had actually prepared me well for the movement, alignment, and knowledge of balance I needed to get through the class. I learned to stand more solidly and fall more consciously, partnering with another center of gravity in a dance with my own. But the best part about the experience was knowing that I was capable of being cleaned out on all levels, creating the space to take in a whole new view of the world. If you feel like you’re stagnating, coasting on what you know, or if you are mentally cluttered with perspectives that aren’t serving your growth and fullness of experience, try becoming a beginner. It doesn’t have to be a huge commitment. Sometimes just breaking your routine, hiking along a different path, or listening to another kind of music can spark this saucha of spirit.  The relief from the weight of your experiences will be well worth it. Core Question : What can you do to move outside your comfort zone and try something you never have? Core Pose : Crow Pose I often use Crow as a way to bring students into the unknown, so they can play at their mindful edge and move into beginner’s mind with integrity. These three approaches should get you there, no matter what level you’re at now. Go at your own pace, and don’t rush into anything you’re not ready for. 1) Flying: Plant your hands on the mat, fingers wide. Lift your heels and hips, and squeeze your elbows and knees inward. Round through your back to access core strength then float your heart forward until your elbows stack over your wrists. Keep hugging in and up, and work on flying high. 2) Jumping Back from Crow: If Crow is a breeze, maintain the containment of elbows over wrists, then hop your feet back on an exhalation into Chaturanga Dandasana. Proceed through your vinyasa to Downward-Facing Dog. 3) Jumping Forward into Crow: From Down Dog, walk your feet together and take small hops toward you hands on your exhalations. As your belly pulls in to help you lift up, your knees will widen to touch your upper arms. Over time, you will refine this action to transition into the pose without touching your feet down at all.      

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Cultivating Beginner’s Mind

Photo: On vacation with Lucien on Vancouver Island, a few months after moving to Vancouver, BC. As I posted last week, mommy-and-baby-yoga class at 6 weeks postpartum left me in tears. Instead of using asana to get back in shape, I did a lot of walking in the park. I also started going to an exercise class for new moms at a small local gym. Normally, the gym scene isn’t for me, but for some reason while my son Lucien protested the mommy-baby yoga class, he was perfectly happy to be plopped down on the mat with the other babies at the gym, listen to loud music, and watch his mommy sweat through a series of squats and lunges. So I went with it. (Lucky for me, the instructor was a yoga-loving dancer and she threw in the occasional dance or yoga pose.) When occasionally Lucien did cry, a very built man named Moe who worked the front desk would come and hold him while answering the phones. By the time Lucien was six months old, I’d lost most of the baby weight and regained feeling in my core. But I really, really missed my yoga practice. Meanwhile, we’d left New York, where we were living during my husband Neil’s academic sabbatical, and moved across coasts and countries to Vancouver, Canada where he’d taken a job as associate professor (with tenure!) at the University of British Columbia. UBC offered me a part-time teaching job in their creative writing department, too. On an earlier trip to Vancouver, with ten-week-old Lucien in tow, we’d fallen in love with the mountain views and fresh air and healthy lifestyle. But now that we’d landed there for good we started to worry. Had we made the right decision to leave the Northeast? Lonely and overwhelmed in a new city, with a new baby, I needed my yoga practice more than ever. And so, at six months post-partum, it was time for me to rejoin a regular weekly yoga class. Starting over with a different teacher was just one of the many adjustments I’d have to make to life in a new city. Fortunately, my new teacher, Louie Ettling, was just the person: caring, encouraging, and super knowledgeable to help me find my way back to my yoga practice. Louie welcomed me to her weekly two-hour level 2/3 Iyengar class, on the condition that I start my home practice up again, even if that meant just one pose a day. I was skeptical. Going to a Saturday afternoon class once a week was do-able; Neil could watch Lucien. A home practice was another thing. I didn’t know how I could fit even one pose a day into my life with a not-yet-sleeping-through-the-night infant, a house search to conduct, a new neighborhood to navigate, and a looming book deadline. Louie suggested Viparita Karani, (Legs-Up-the-Wall pose). That, I figured, was something I could do. Even if it meant holding my son on my lap while I stretched my legs up that wall, or doing the pose while watching television, I committed to one pose a day–slowly, with many ups and downs that I’ll write about later–I regained my practice. Are you a mom wanting to establish, or re-establish a home practice but feel totally overwhelmed by the prospect? Could you start by practicing just one pose a day? How about one pose a day for just one week? It could be Legs-Up-the-Wall pose, Headstand, a forward bend like Janu Sirsana ,(Head-to-the-Knee Pose) or even a particularly yummy version of Savasana (Corpse Pose). Don’t think about committing to an entire hour of practice–just think one restorative, rejuvenating pose.Please leave a comment and let me know how this changes your week. –Jessica Berger Gross Jessica Berger Gross is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer   (Skyhorse), she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Making it to the Mat

I know what you’re thinking… harem pants, really? Really! I love them and I know you can pull them off.  I also adore this yoga mat bag-finally a bag large enough to fit my yoga mat, towel, and whatever else I need to pack in there. the details: Carry All Yoga Bag, Prana Seamless Carefree Cami, Be Present Harem Pant, Athleta Inspire Bracelet, Fossil Harmony Yoga Mat, Jade Yoga   eQua Yoga Towel, Manduka   Tree Garden Curtain, Urban Outfitters   –Ali Zeigler

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Wish I was Wearing: Tangerine Threads

Last week while on a trip to Japan with my husband, yoga teacher Jason Crandell, I got to witness the true meaning of yoga, or union: On a sunny Saturday morning, more than 700 yogis gathered together in a grassy park outside of the sleek Roppongi Hills mall in Tokyo to take part in the Yoga Aid Challenge. Now in its fifth year (and with events throughout the year in seven countries), the Tokyo Yoga Aid participants raised more than 1.2 million yen  for local charities. The reward for participating? Practicing together in the park while 12 well-known teachers led a two-hour class. As each teacher took 10 minutes to share their teachings with the crowd, I was struck by how beautifully diverse yoga is: Ms. Michiko Minegishi took to the stage with dramatic music and her inspiring students behind her, Duncan Wong got his groove on while sharing his Yogic Arts style, former San Francisco Bay Area resident and Anusara Yoga teacher Mark Shveima (he now resides in Kyoto) showed his hard-won skills by leading the crowd in Japanese. ”Lunge-en-a-pose-u!” said Shveima and the students obliged him with a High Lunge, arms extending skyward. American teachers (like my hubby) and Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa shared their portion of the practice via translators. Despite the teachers’ stylistic differences, the mixed class came together seamlessly. As the practice ended and all 700 of us put our arms around each other and sang with Gurmukh “We are the people, the people of love. Let us people, love today” I was not only feeling the love, I was feeling blessed to have experienced such a sense of union even though I was so far from home. The video I put together above shows just a few highlights from the day. –Andrea Ferretti

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It’s a Small World

Just when you thought there wasn’t any good news flowing forth from Washington…it’s time for Yoga on the Mall ! The event–happening on Saturday, May 15–is basically a ginormous group class led by teachers from participating D.C. studios. Yoga Week  organizers say no experience is necessary; just show up with your mat and some snacks, and join the flow. The practice will be broken into consecutive 20-minute sessions that become progressively more challenging as the day wears on.  Since YOTM starts at 1:00 and ends at 5:00, you can make it your experience a quickie or a real marathon. (And oh yeah, superstar teacher Shiva Rea will be on hand to give you adjustments!) Hopefully the positive energy generated will spill out toward Capitol Hill. Couldn’t we use a little more love in our political environment? –Hillari Dowdle

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Capitol Idea

The other night in class, a student came up and said, “I thought I was coming for a workout and I ended up getting life lessons, too!” Turns out he needed to hear what I was offering in order to understand the way out of a specific struggle he’s been dealing with. Like we say in yoga, when the student is ready… Before we begin our physical poses, I always gather the class for a Karma Talk. This is when I lay out my intentions for the practice and encourage students to set their inner dedication so they can align with it as they move on the mat. My talk that night was about how we all say we want good karma, but we might not realize that the outcome of any situation that is most beneficial to us is also one directly created by us, through the choices we make in each moment. In other words, we don’t just follow our dreams, we make them happen. What we do now, and more specifically, how we do it and from what intention, can either create harmony or discordance with who we really are. Have you ever heard an Om at the beginning of class that sounded like each person chose a different note on purpose, but by the end of class, it’s become united? This happens when we all pay attention not only to the outside but the inside as well; to know ourselves better in that place of sattva , or calm equilibrium. As a teacher, I see so many students straining towards the external look of a pose, going too fast, leaping at the wall in handstand, not breathing mindfully. When our confidence and life’s meaning rests only in the way we look and what others think of us, and our sense of security forever shifts with the things we have (money) or don’t have (money), we have lost sight of one crucial thing: Our core connection. Yogis might call this satya , one’s ultimate truth, or even atman , the soul within us. Other philosophies say it’s hara , a state of living from center, or simply, coming home to oneself. This isn’t accomplished by having one huge, enlightened experience in meditation and then being set for life.  You have to get your hands in the dirt now and do the work it takes to plant those seeds of action so they may come to fruition in their own, often in surprising ways. The beauty of yoga, or the practice of living out loud, is that you don’t have to worry about what kind of flower or tree your seeds will become. If you practice the three steps to transformation–make space, go inside, then take actions that best represent you–then the rest is coming just as it should. How freeing to know we can just spend our time cultivating the courage to dissolve old limiting blocks and stories, listening to the core connection we make with ourselves, and then trusting our inner wisdom enough to follow through with actions that we know are coming from our best self. So, what’s your next core action? Better yet, how will you undertake it with integrity, grace, and without placing the burden of needing to control the outcome on the featherlight power and magic inherent in pure doing for its own sake? Let us know! Core Pose : Siddhasana Side Stretch and Forward Fold Siddhasana pays homage to those who have transcended their external fixations and returned home to a state of calm awareness.  You can make space, listen in, and choose as wisely as a Siddha when you take time to practice from this intention. Come into Siddhasana (Adept’s Pose) with one foot in front of the other. Place your right palm onto the floor to your right, and with a long spine and lifted side waist, reach the left arm over your ear. Bend your right elbow and breathe new space into any constriction you feel around the lungs and chest. If your neck feels uncomfortable, turn your gaze to the floor or right ear to right shoulder and let the head gently drop for a sweet stretch. Take 5 or more breaths, and then switch sides.   After completing both sides, inhale and sit up tall. Exhale and fold forward with palms or forearms on the mat. Take at least one minute here, bringing breath into your back body and releasing past habits and beliefs that block you from accessing your inner wisdom and truth. Then listen to that subtle yet powerful voice within for your next direction.

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Creating Good Karma

New York yogi alert: If you like the idea of helping at-risk city kids get access to the practice, check out the Yoga at School program at the Integral Yoga Institute .  Yoga teacher Erin Wilson works with the kids at James Baldwin High School , an end-of-the-line transfer school for kids from all over the city–kids who’ve had it tough or been in trouble but still want a chance at a brighter future.  “For a lot of these students, violence is a way of life–they’ve been involved in gangs, they have friends and family in prison, they come from tough economic situations,” says Wilson.  “Yoga empowers them to exercise self-control. It teaches them compassion for themselves and for others. It shows them how to deal with the stress of being a teen and to live a life of peace.” See the concept in action Friday, May 7, at the Integral Yoga Institute (227 W. 13th Street; 212-929-0586). Join Wilson for a special Yoga class at 7:30 p.m., followed by a presentation from the student participants. There will be free vegetarian cuisine, music, and a silent auction to benefit the program. It’s a fundraiser–if you want to pay it forward, your donation will be most welcome. (There isn’t a suggested minimum, but Wilson says something in the neighborhood of $25 would be helpful.)  Who knows? Perhaps your participation will lead to a future of perfectly peaceful rides on the D train.

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Benefit the Future

Photo: On the subway in Brooklyn, New York with a 6-week-old Lucien. As I posted the other day, practicing yoga was the furthest thing from my mind when I brought my son Lucien home from the hospital. By six weeks post-partum, though, I really started missing asana. The doctor who’d performed my c-section gave me the OK to exercise, so I gathered up my energy and my son’s overstuffed diaper bag and ventured out to our first mommy and baby yoga class. This was something I’d dreamt about for years. How fun to teach my baby yoga! Too bad Lucien didn’t see it that way.  He cried from the moment we entered the yoga center until we left an hour later. He pooped twice in the first 45 minutes–I spent half the class in the tiny Brooklyn-sized bathroom changing him–and the rest of the time he wailed while I tried to put him down on the mat long enough for me to get in a couple of poses.  I ended up leaving the class in tears and feeling like a complete failure. All the other moms and babies seemed to handle the class fine.  What was wrong with me?  With us?  I felt isolated. I felt like a freak. (And honestly, with twenty-five pounds to lose, I felt fat.)  Would I ever practice again? Would I ever feel like myself?  Would I ever get my favorite jeans back on? Have you tried Mommy and Baby classes?  How do you make it to your mat?

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We Flunked Mommy-Baby Yoga

I have a confession to make: I splurged big time on this Stewart + Brown dress a few weeks ago after seeing it on one of my favorite blogs.I wasn’t sure if it would be worth it and I thought I might end up sending it back, but it is the most comfortable dress I’ve ever owned. I was sold the moment I took it out of it’s package. Instead of a chemical smell you sometimes experience with new clothing, it smells like fresh cut wood. The fabric is amazing and the dress itself is one of those styles that’s pretty much flattering on everyone. Now If I could only splurge on the rest of this outfit to go with it. the details: Eva Smock Waits Dress, Stewart + Brown RGB nail polish in Haze (Contains no Formaldehyde, no Toluene) Poetry Mid Calf Boots, Qupid (Vegan) Ashley Watson Kestrel Purse, Beklina  (Made with recycled, reclaimed leather) Stella Sheer Eau de Toilette Spray, Stella McCartney

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Organic Outfit

Yesterday I taught in a state of emergency–literally. I’d traveled to Nashville for a weekend of Core Strength workshops at three local studios. My visit coincided with the worst flooding the city has ever seen and a subsequent call for a state of emergency. Unbeknownst to me or any of the students, at one point we were on our mats while a tornado touched down a mere six miles away! Driving to back to my hotel, I saw homes under water up to the rooftops. People have lost so much in such a short amount of time–photos, their favorite chair, mementos from childhood and from their children.  My host here in the city, yoga instructor Rommy Hussey, and I were talking about how hard a teaching that must be. It’s a letting go unlike any most of us will ever have to deal with–on a material level, at least. I invite you to take a moment to send lovingkindness to all the beings in Tennessee and everywhere, who are suffering right now. When I showed up to the studio this morning and a few dedicated yogis joined me, I realized that this really is our practice: to surrender to what is, to breathe, and to move forward, even in the worst of times. To me, this is the essence of Ishvara pranidhana , translated as “devotion to the Lord,” which was Patanjali’s call to soften through the pain, the destruction, the unwanted and the intense. When we drop resistance to reality, and cease the fight against what we don’t want, we are infinitely more able to receive what we do: the healing, the loving, and the broader perspective that brings us all home to center, regardless of the storms and winds of change that come and go outside. CORE POSE: Circling Camel (Ustrasana), variation This pose will help you make more room for breath as it opens your heart center, helping you embrace any situation as a learning experience and reminding you of the inner strength that resides at your core. Kneel at the front of your mat, toes flexed beneath you. Firm your lower belly in and up, and lengthen the tailbone. Bring your left hand onto your hip or left heel if you’re more back-bendy. Reach your right arm up, and inhale as you circle it back and down onto the right hip or heel for a shoulder stretch. Lift the left arm on your next inhalation, and circle it around on the exhalation. Repeat for 3 to 5 rounds, maintaining core support and the length of your spine. End in a full Camel Pose with both hands on the hips or heels, lifting your chest higher from the back of your heart.   For a good counter position, rest in Child’s Pose for 10 breaths, knees together, and wave your hips gently from side to side.

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Surrendering to What Is

Yesterday one of my students told me that another teacher called her out in class, saying, “You’re trying too hard.” This puzzled her. She didn’t think she was overdoing it, but then again, maybe the teacher saw something she didn’t. Perhaps she was running over herself and maybe she wasn’t, but it’s an interesting concept. When does striving toward a goal become stressful and when does it create transformation? This is why we say that to practice yoga is to walk the razor’s edge. There’s a fine line between too much sthira (effort) and too much suhka (ease), and the more we come to the mat, the more intimately we get to know it. The balance inherent within these two polarities, the “field,” as Rumi would say, where growth meets freedom, is known as santosha , or contentment, one of the niyamas of the yogic path. Niyama means observance, or something that you do that helps you line up with your inherent equilibrium. But this can mean saying No to something (straining to do a handstand when you’re not ready) as often as it asks you to say Yes. As yogis, we learn the art of knowing when to take action, and, importantly, when not to, in order to achieve a consistent state that is without aggravation or inertia; not moving too fast or lagging behind. So, how can we tell when we’re trying just hard enough in yoga, and in life? After all, neither our dreams nor our handstands are gonna just create themselves. As a teacher, the first thing I look at is your breath. It’s a pretty good gauge to let me know when you go off the rails.  If you can’t breathe slowly and deeply, or you sound more like Darth Vader than a smooth ocean wave, it’s time for Child’s Pose. I’m also checking out your alignment, specifically the foundation and core connection. If you’re in that same handstand, but your back is arching and your elbows are bent and wavering, then you’re not really in a handstand at all. You’re in a misaligned and compressive backbend that the wall is preventing from going into full (and injury-prone) expression. It’s not getting you where you want to go, which is to balance without the wall someday, with firm support from your arms and abdominals. What actually happens when we try too hard is that we simultaneously fall into the mire of inertia. We shoot ourselves in the proverbial foot because by overworking, we actually lock ourselves out of the possibility to access deeper muscles, deeper wisdom, and inner strength. We give ourselves over to ego, the anxious mind, the hyperactive body–anything external that we think can get us “there” faster. And instead of moving forward, we collapse. The first step in dissolving these non-santosha states is to be here–to pay full attention to how you feel. If you’re anxious, or numbed out, you might be trying too hard or not enough.   Once you notice the places in your life where you want control or that cause you to stress out, you can practice releasing a bit to allow the inner you to shine. This is why in class I often say you must back off in order to go farther. Then, when you’ve taken it down a notch, you can take it back up again, only this time, using the strength that serves you, in alignment, to express your most powerful center. This is when santosha arises organically. In the end, my student decided she wasn’t working too hard, but she did promise herself that she’d keep an eye out for when she was.  I’ve seen her take Child’s Pose more often, and I smile when she does, because I know she’s focused on playing the razor’s edge. And that’s the practice. CORE POSE: Core Handstand, what else? This asana is a microcosm for your practice of remaining in santosha. Remember, all the benefits–strong arms, open shoulders, core strength, courage, balance and detoxification–are available to you in every moment when you remain in alignment. Getting up to the wall is an added bonus–not something to rush into. Step 1: Stand a few feet from and facing a wall, and place your hands on the ground in front of you, fingers wide and shoulder-distance apart. Then bend one leg while the foot grounds firmly and directly under the sitting bone. Lift your other leg, maintaining level hips. Press out actively through the lifted heel. Step 2: Take small hops to help push the standing leg off the ground. At the same time, press down through your hands, lift your navel toward the sky, and begin to lengthen your top leg. You don’t want your low back to overarch here and tip the seat and legs behind you, as this will cause you to lose core strength and power.   To reconnect to the lower abdominals, bend the standing leg as it leaves the earth and draw your knee into your chest. Also, exhaling as you hop will firm your core muscles and prevent your spine from compressing or wavering as you lift. Step 3: Once you can hover in the knee-to-chest variation, keep all the stability you’ve created in the arms, torso and pelvis, and lengthen the bent bottom leg to meet the top one! Note: If at any time, your breath gets ragged, or your arms or spine begin to move out of alignment, you’ve crossed the razor’s edge, and it’s time to back off to re-find your balance.      

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Playing the Razor’s Edge

Our star blogger Sadie Nardini has been blogging with Yoga Journal since February. As we add more bloggers to our Yoga Diary line-up we thought it was best to give Sadie her own blog home as well. You will still be able to find her posts on Yoga Diary but if you want all Sadie, all the time, you can tune into her new blog home of Core Values . To read more about Sadie check out her introduction .

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Introducing Sadie Nardini’s New Home

Jessica Berger Gross is one of our newest bloggers. Join her as she embarks on her yogic journey into motherhood: — Who has time for yoga? That’s how I felt when my amazing son Lucien was born two years ago. I went from having a daily meditation and yoga practice to losing both and starting from scratch.  In my new blog Enlightened Motherhood , I’ll chronicle how one mom (part-time writer, part-time college teacher, part-time stay-at-home parent) struggles and attempts — and sometimes  manages — to stay sane and live a yoga-inspired life in the real world of diapers, deadlines, and toddler meltdowns. — Jessica is the author of enLIGHTened: How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer (Skyhorse).  Originally from New York, she lives in Vancouver, British Columbia with her husband and two-year-old son.

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Introducing Jessica Berger Gross

Kristin Shepherd is one of our newest bloggers. Join her as she takes on the challenges of yoga from the perspective of a newcomer in her new blog Beginner’s Mind : — I don’t know a hootkatassana from a pranayama. Yet. Although I have done bits of yoga over my lifetime, I only jumped in the deep end seven months ago, with regular classes and then my daily practice at home. What I do know is the deliciousness of yoga for a beginner (I can breathe! I can turn my neck in the car!), its frustrations (the clothes! the inflexibility!), and the way yoga becomes a part of everything else that happens during a day.  The way you drive your friends and family mad with yoga talk, the way half of them join yoga because of your ecstatic ranting. It feels as though i have come home after 48 years. I’ll bet some of you can identify.  I hope you’ll join me. — Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, a self-proclaimed theater freak and a yogi.  She’s a relative newcomer, and says she really, really knows how it feels to be 48, a bit tight, and a little wobbly. Kristin finds herself happiest, so far, in the back row of every yoga class.

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Introducing Kristin Shepherd

Finally, an event dedicated to playfully defying gravity. Got plans for Columbus Day? No? Then mark your calendar and consider attending the FIRST-EVER AcroYoga Festival , happening in Oakland , California , on October 8, 9, 10, and 11. The event will feature plenty of yoga, acrobatics, and Thai massage.   And, oh yes, there’s music, too: Jai Uttal, M.C. Yogi, and the Mayapuris will be on hand to rock the proverbial house. What we’re really looking forward to, though, is the nighttime “Bollywood Jam” carnival, to feature circus performers, henna tattoos, and music galore. Cotton candy or no cotton candy, count us in!  

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Playtime for Grownups

Forget yoga class, this is the perfect outfit for the entire weekend. I love that these pants are called the “Tool Around Pant” because I need to do a little more tooling around. It definitely sounds better than rushing around, which is what I do most of the time. I also need a new yoga mat, and the tree graphic on this one makes me happy. the details:  Rivera Bra Top, Athleta   Organic Cotton Tool Around Pant, Athleta  Sonata Sweater Cover-up, Athleta Tree of Life Yoga Mat, Gaiam  Om Yoga Bag, Asraistyle  Brass Stone and Leaf Bracelet, Asos Life is but a Dream photograph, Alicia Bock 

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Fabulous Fern

I’m back from Sedona after shooting my new DVDs, resting up from the wild ride that was last week. And when I say “wild,” I mean it. To be transplanted from the concrete jungle that is Manhattan–where the closest I get to flora are the bouquets sold in front of every deli, and my fauna sightings consist of dogs on leashes and the occasional subway rat–was quite the experience. When I arrived at the location, a plateau in Red Rock State Park overlooking a basin and surrounded by rust-red mountains, it took my breath away. I took a big chance and decided to film the whole thing using a live microphone instead of adding in the sound later from a studio recording. Alas, the wind, sun, and occasional rain didn’t care that we were shooting a yoga video. Viewers will hear and see it all, just as it naturally happened. The light shifts, the dust swirls, and at one point I felt like I was in the middle of a Harry Potter -esque duel of elements. At one point, I was blown right off the mat in a Warrior Two–something you might usually only see on a video outtake. I came to the location thinking everything would be peaceful, leaving us to our Zen creation. Once I’d been there for 5 minutes, however, I knew I’d have to shift my expectations and transform how I would approach the experience. Yoga teaches us that the inability to go with the flow, instead trying mold the outer environment to suit your inner needs, is the greatest cause of suffering. This week I want to return to the idea of aparigraha , or nongrasping, and show you how to use it to your benefit when situations arise that you don’t expect. There are two choices whenever you find yourself in a state of duhkha , or suffering, because something’s not going the way you’d hoped. You can hang onto your expectation in a state of stress and strain, or you can shrug your shoulders, turn towards the new information, and say, simply, How can I turn this to my advantage? The great thing about aparigraha is that if you’re holding on too tightly to one perspective, you’re just as capable of picking up another, more empowering one, and holding it instead. The transition from “this cannot be happening” to “this is my teaching” is a hard at first. But like anything, with practice, it gets easier. Just as every yoga pose that challenges you and feels uncomfortable is another call to learn to move from a state of resisting intensity to using it to serve your ultimate goals. For me, it all comes down to not needing to control everything and thinking I know what needs to happen for me to be content. Instead, when I stepped on that mountain and things started getting crazy, I didn’t. I looked around, took a deep breath, and thought, “Here we are. Now, what are we going to do with it?” I heard from the directors that the footage we shot looks incredible, and that the wind adds to the teaching instead of detracting from it. But I still made sure to mention at the beginning of the video that we were in for quite a ride, and used it as a way to show that I was practicing what I teach. Even if it hadn’t turned out so well, I would have embraced that, taken it inside, and turned it into a learning experience to help me become wiser, stronger, and more prepared for the next time. We can all do this, no matter how easy or challenging the teaching that shows up may be. Remain watchful, open, and resilient. And when the opportunity arises for you to alchemize a disappointment or fear into something wild and free, grab onto it with both hands. Core Pose: Poet’s Pose (also known as a variation of Half Moon Pose, or Ardha Chandrasana, variation) This pose presents a wonderful way to experience the ebbs and flows of balance while striving to remain inwardly centered even when you topple over from the strong winds of change. As you approach it, remember to keep your breathing even and your drishti , or gaze, on the ground beneath you. Stand toward the front of your mat, feet sitting-bone-distance apart. Bend your knees and place the fingertips of both hands a little wider than shoulder distance in front of you. On an exhalation, bring your left knee into your chest and activate your lower abdominals and natural low back curve in and up towards the ribs. Maintain a long tailbone and open heart as you begin to open your left hip to stack over the right. With your core engaged, begin to lengthen your left leg out behind you at hip height, and unfurl your chest and left arm to the sky. Keep looking down as you play with bending your right standing leg and lifting your right fingertips off the floor and into your chest. Contract your topside waist as you press firmly and evenly into the floor with the right foot. Straighten your standing leg in time. Hold for 3-5 breaths. Return to Standing Forward Bend and give a sweet exhale through the mouth, releasing any tension you were holding inside. Repeat on the other side. 
    

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Embrace the Unexpected

this today: Welcome to Yoga Journal’s Wish I Was Wearing Wednesday! Every Wednesday designer and yogini Alexandra Zeigler will share her favorite yoga outfits or eco-friendly streetwear looks. Here’s what Ali has to say about this week’s outfit: Nothing says spring like petal pink. Actually, I’ve never been much of a pink girl, but I’m coming around to it, especially when I’m dying for spring to bloom. Hopefully it will soon be time to bust out our yoga shorts! By the way, how much do you love the 100% organic cosmetic bag by Sukie? It’s so cute I’d use it to stash my wallet, keys, and cell phone on my way to class. Check out their other adorable designs too at the link below. (And check out Ali’s blog for more design and craft inspiration.) the details: Seamless Anjali Cami, Athleta Fusion Short, Athleta Organic Cotton Cosmetic Bag, Sukie Vegan Babylon Flat, Olsen Haus (available at Vickery )  Heart photograph via Blow Bigger Bubbles

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Wish I Was Wearing

Whenever yoga makes it into the mainstream media, it tends to look like one of the following: 1. A daffy trend story, the main thrust of which is, “Gee, this yoga thing is really catching on!” 2. Overt mockery. Or 3. A prescription for an awesome workout! So we were surprised last week to see–on CNN Headline News–a beautiful little story about Sue Jones and the YogaHOPE foundation. Part of the channel’s “Breakthrough Women” series, the focus was on how Jones used yoga to overcome her own severe depression and suicidal thoughts–then founded a nonprofit organization aimed at extending a lifeline to other women grappling with mental health issue. Boston-based YogaHOPE brings yoga into drug and alcohol treatment centers, halfway houses, homeless shelters, and other places where “at risk” women tend to congregate. As Jones told CNN’s Robin Meade, “It was a desire of mine to teach yoga to women who I felt might be at a crisis point in their lives, and might be on the verge of making a very self-destructive or dangerous decision.” We know, of course, that practicing yoga leads to self transformation–but that’s news to women lost in the woods of addiction. Good news, a Jones says. Learn more about the program–including how to participate or donate–at YogaHOPE.org .

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There’s Always Hope

Yoga on wheels. No, not spinning. (So 2005!) Think rollerblades instead. The latest unnecessary but totally fun yoga-exercise mash-up, Mobile Yoga has inline skaters turning all their favorite asanas into balancing poses by performing them on wheels. Think of a floating Fierce Pose, a wind-whipped Warrior III, or a gliding Garudasana and you’ll get the picture. Founder Kris Fondran is an inline skating instructor with a masters in exercise science; she’s also a certified yoga instructor with some serious cred (trained in Satyananda Yoga, she received mantra diksha initiation from Paramahamsa Niranjanananda Saraswati in 2004). You can see the threads of her practice emerge in her instruction, which is as much about breathing and awareness building as it is about getting a great cardio workout. And though her Web site looks totally L.A.–she’s pictured posing against a background of blue skies, beaches, and palm trees–Fondran is based in Cleveland, Ohio. Silly or sublime? Strap on your skates and decide for yourself.

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On a Roll

I arrived home from the Toronto Yoga Conference yesterday minus one important thing: my voice! Fortunately it didn’t happen until the very last minute of my last class. The students had to do the OM on their own, leading to a rousing rainbow of notes, but they got all the information I needed to offer. The key for next time I accept a conference position, is not to talk less. I’m a very verbal instructor, and what I hear from my inner teacher, I translate in its entirety for my students. The solution is to do slightly fewer classes. This is hard for me to admit. I’m the type of person who will stagger into my house carrying eight grocery bags to avoid two trips. I would rather power through my day than take a nap, and I’m more likely to give a massage than to get one. Whether I’m doing a six-hour Core Strength immersion or a one-hour private, I tend to give everything I have to help steer people toward their Source. Sometimes, in my quest to open them to center, I neglect to hold my own. No matter who you are, there is a particular shiny object in your life that tends, like a bluebird decorating her nest and seeing only the glint of silver on the ground–but not the wolf waiting in the bushes–to draw one’s attention away from the predatory dangers of misalignment, depletion, and suffering. For me, the shine, my utter passion, is helping others to remember themselves, to contain their prana, and then send it out into the world in ways that reflects their deepest truth. To do this, I share my personal path: the realizations, actions, and type of yoga practice that helped me to empower, self-nourish, and stop a vicious cycle of chronic fatigue and dysfunctional relationships that were causing me a world of hurt. I know that this important message is a positive way to use my energy. However, even a positive can become a negative if it begins to drain the offerer in favor of the offering. In yoga circles, we refer to this process of striking personal balance as the daily see-saw between sukha and dukha. The words translate to mean “good space” and “bad space.” We can also interpret them to mean ease and suffering. In fact, we tend to invite experiences into our lives that appear as repetitive drama cycles, like getting into the same struggle in your romantic relationships over and over (’Haven’t I dated you before?”), or running into the same problems with different business partners. These seemingly external experiences don’t have to be seen as random. They can be our teachers, illuminating the lessons of how not to take the road of craving and instant gratification, but rather to make the more intense, rewarding choices that help us come back into our natural state of equilibrium, self-respect, and peace. Today, as I rest, cuddle with the cats, and let my voice return, I’m aware of my own responsibility to myself and my students not to be a hypocrite–I have to both talk the talk and walk the walk. Now that I’ve received my teaching, I will use it to tip my balance back in favor of giving in enough, rather than giving out too much. From here on, I’ll set better boundaries and let workshop organizers know what I can offer (12 hours or so should be win-win for us both), and make sure that I don’t let my zest for teaching override my personal nourishment. After all, if I’m to lead by example, then what better way to do it than by sharing my own learning curve? And, even for teachers, it’s sometimes steep. Core Question : What’s your biggest energy drain or repeating drama, and how can you come back into balance around it? Core Pose: Anahata Twist Your mid-back is the first place twists can freely occur, so sometimes we get stuck in our more hyper-mobile spots. This pose will bring your twist higher–into the upper spine, shoulders, and neck in a variation designed to nourish the area around the heart and throat. Lie on your side in a fetal position, place both hands on the mat, and spin just your heart to the floor–legs stay like they were. Place your arms on the floor, elbows bent, forearms, and palms down in a cactus shape. Turn your head away from the direction your knees are pointing for the most spinal rotation, or to the same side for less. Breathe into the back of your heart and higher for one minute or more, then repeat on the other side.

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Coming Into Balance

I had every intention of writing my blog first thing this morning, after running out for a quick breakfast. Three hours later, I’m back at my computer after a super adventure I never could have predicted. I’m in Toronto, preparing to present at a yoga conference this weekend, but today I’m completely free. After a healing hot chocolate, I wandered the streets for a while. I stumbled across St. Andrew’s Church, a gorgeous structure that’s also home to the 48th Highlander’s Museum, Toronto’s first and only Canadian Highland Regiment. Yep, kilts and all. Lucky for me, it was open and I was greeted by a lifelong member of the regiment, W.O. Ron Denham, C.d. (Ret’d). Ron was pleased to show me around, and brought the uniforms, flags, and pieces of history alive with his profound knowledge and storytelling flair. I heard about his meeting with two queens, a king, his love of tartan, single-malt, his country, his heritage and his respect for Lieutenant General Arthur Currie, who bucked convention by refusing to grow a moustache, being less-than-stellar on horseback, and developing a reputation for expending ammunition before his men’s lives. He wasn’t popular with the other by-the-book officers, but he was a leader among his men, and went on to become the Commander of the Canadian Corps. Now, war and its aftermath makes me sad. But I couldn’t but feel reverence for the men and women who bravely went off to fight for something they believed in. I felt enveloped in the weighty cloak of their choices. My time at the museum brought up so many yogic themes and questions that I will offer up to my classes and students over time. What struck me most today was how life’s surprises are waiting for us around every corner, where we might not think to look. Today I invite you to make space for what you might not know. If you’re in your millionth Downward Dog, and you think you “get” this pose, the very next time you do it, you might be surprised with a revelation. One of the defining characteristics of a yogi is the willingness to let go of the preconceived plan or judgment and allow new experiences or perceptions come to you. Prana, or life energy, doesn’t like to be controlled. In fact, the secret of life and yoga is that life energy cannot be made to do anything. We can only remove obstacles like stress, tension, and clouded ways of seeing, thereby creating the space necessary for life force and insight to flood into us. And it will. As Robert Frost says in his poem The Road Not Taken: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I– I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” Sometimes, when we stop micro-managing every step, and instead allow prana-invoking moments of sweet surrender, we begin to nourish the sthira (spaciousness) side of our poses and ourselves. Only when we can release our grand illusion of control, step off our beaten paths, be still and ask,”What’s next?” will the most thought-provoking moments of inner inquiry appear, and rise to meet us. Core Question:  How will you make space for your next Super Adventure? What happened when you did? Core Pose: Five-Minute Yogi’s Choice During your next home practice, your teaching, or perhaps even right now in your chair, take five minutes for an unplanned pose or flow to arise from within. How does your body need to move? What is your breath teaching you? Instead of doing the pose from your mind, try being the pose more, listening to your inner cues, and letting your energy and breath dictate the movement. Even if it looks nothing like a classical yoga asana, go with the flow anyway. It’s your Super Adventure moment!

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My Super Adventure

I taught an eight hour Core Strength Immersion in Vancouver this weekend, and two day worth of workshops before that. Suffice it to say, becoming a student again and taking a yoga class this morning was a sweet relief. Today I get to relax and recharge before heading to The Yoga Conference in Toronto tomorrow. Then it’s 18 more hours of teaching in four days for good old Sadie. And I will rise to the challenge. But today: hot chocolate, yoga, lunch, a stroll by the water, and then whatever the heck I feel like for the rest of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. But I give everything I have while I’m leading my intensives. So after that, I need to simply be . After a strong, sweaty Anusara class with my friend and fabulous instructor Christine Price Clark, she blessed me with a foot massage in Savasana. Tears came to my eyes–a total surprise to me, since I wasn’t emotional before that at all. I realized that I wasn’t sad, but rather, my cup of happiness had runneth over and begun to come out of my eyes. I was full. As I walked home from class, gingerly, as if to keep the cup from sloshing around and spilling my bliss, I thought of you, the community I adore. I wanted to remind you, as I was reminded by the humble gesture from my teacher, that the practice of ahimsa, or nonviolence, also applies directly to the relationship between you and your Self. If you don’t regularly pause along the cycle of giving to nourish yourself properly, it begins another cycle: one of fatigue, resentment and an existence characterized by just barely getting by, instead of living large from your inner reservoir of prana. Yes, ahimsa is a yama, which means that we’re encouraged to participate with the world around us in a loving way. But one thing we must not forget is that each of us is also part of the world to which we’re supposed to be offering! As a yogi, you can absolutely include yourself in the relationships you have to navigate every day and practice brightening. In addition to filling other people’s cups through respectful actions, it’s perfectly appropriate, and in fact crucial, that you take the time to regularly pour goodness into your own. If I was dating someone who said to me ,”Wow–you’re so fat! I can’t believe you’re eating more of that birthday cake. Make room for Queen Cellulite! I’d break up with them. However, on a more regular basis than I’d care to admit, that same old critical voice creeps in again, trying to tip my hand and dump my self-esteem down the drain. Often as yogis, we seek the light, striving to offer positivity towards those around us, but we neglect and hurt the longest-term partner we’ll ever have: ourselves. Today, look within yourself. How is your Core Connection? Is it a love match, or so dysfunctional you’d be perfect for the Jerry Springer Show? In this moment, I invite you to become your own soul mate again, and start acting, thinking, speaking and acting in ways that reflect your newfound love affair. Namaste, Sadie Core Question: Is your cup full or empty? Have hurtful inner voices and outer actions caused you to exist in a state of depletion? If so, what actions will you take to pour the energy, life and self-love back inside? Core Pose — Waterfall Pigeon: This pose lets you experience the fluid balance between giving out, and giving i n. From Down Dog, come into Pigeon with your right knee behind the right wrist, and foot forward somewhere between the left hip crease and left wrist where your knee is comfortable. Stretch your back leg out long behind you. Maintain the level sit bones and hips centered in space. Walk your hands back beside your hips as you ground the legs down for support. Inhale, move your spine, shoulders and head back and up as you offer your heart higher. Exhale, cascade your spine forward as you lower your forehead towards the earth. Support the low back with your low abdominals as you inhale and wave back up again. Repeat the flow 5-10 times, then rest in Low Pigeon with head on your hands or a block for one minute. Breathe and receive the new energy you’re unlocking! Move to Down Dog and repeat Waterfall and Low Pigeon on the left.

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The Loving Cup

I left Brooklyn and arrived in Vancouver yesterday, to teach a weekend Core Strength Immersion. In five days, I’ll fly to Toronto for the Yoga Conference. I’m not a fan of being away from home for long periods of time, but the smell of freshly cut grass (lawns! How quaint!), the view of the Vancouver mountains, the cherry blossoms,and the fireplace in my hotel room have almost made up for it. No matter where I travel, the students meeting me on the mat all have one thing in common: they’re trying to make a change. Whether it’s learning something new, improving their strength and flexibility, accessing more of their inherent centeredness or a combination of these, no one I’ve met shows up to a yoga intensive with a burning desire to stay exactly the same. After all–shift happens. We’re all in constant state of flux, from our cells and thoughts, to our outer environments and relationships. Your experience is as transient as a hobo on a country railcar. The question is–in what direction do you want that train to roll? If you allow life, and the external opinions, requests, and demands of others take you where it wants to go, you’ll spend a lifetime getting steamrolled from the outside. Enough of that, and your heart will feel as flat as a pancake. If you want to fill your mind, body and spirit with the goodness of inspiration and transformation, you’ve got to do one thing for certain: Get to work. Remember: intention without action is just a beautiful pipe dream. In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali offers clue about how to change things according to your intentions. It begins with ishvara pranidhana. This word literally means “love of God,” but like so many other concepts in the yoga teachings, it has alternate meanings. Ishvara pranidhana can also mean “to take your highest action.” Have you noticed that in any moment when you’re called to make a choice –Do I go to yoga class or skip it? Should I yell at my partner or take a time out? Should I take the job I hate for more money or the one I love for less?–there is usually one that will serve your highest good, and one that will, well…not so much? When you take action that helps you express who you most want to be in the present, it will keep you on the road toward goals you want to reach later. I’m certain of this, because it’s taken me from a dysfunctional practice and stressful life to inner strength and outer abundance. It will work for you too–but you have to work it. Yoga is not a spectator sport. It asks for your full and unflinching participation. It can be scary, constantly facing down the unknown, but if you can go there–whether by hugging your thighs more in that Crow Pose, taking a deep breath when you want to say something hurtful, or choosing the high road in a situation where your habits and fears conspire to make the low one an attractive option–all your hard work will absolutely pay off. In fact, the beauty of yoga is that it pays its dividends instantly, with a rush of prana, or empowerment, and the personal satisfaction of becoming more of yourself in the moments that you focus, intend…and try. This is the offer of Kriya Yoga, the yoga of action, and it’s something that we can practice both on and off our mats. After some ginger-green tea (instead of my old nemesis: coffee!), I’m off to teach this afternoon with a group of teachers, most of whom I’ve never met. I will take my own advice, and instead of holding back, I’ll fully share from my spirit, which is always a vulnerable process. I’ll let you know what happened in my next post! Namaste, Sadie Core Question: What actions can you take, this week, to start making your intentions a reality? What has held you back before this? Core Pose: Earth to Sky Triangle Here’s a pose I use to teach my students the power of conscious action as they build Trikonasana (Triangle Pose). It can help you access deeper core strength and maintain a safe stretching point by building the posture from the ground up: Step 1: Come into a Utthita Parsvakonasana (Side Angle Pose) and place your bottom fingertips beside the outer foot. (Beginners: Bring your forearm on your knee.) Draw your navel in and up towards your chest as you lengthen the tailbone. Now lift your free arm to the sky. Wrap your top arm around your back in a half bind, and press the hand into your back ribs or palm into the thigh. Roll your top shoulder open, then look down to stretch the neck and shoulder. Step 2: Keep everything you’ve created, but begin to move your front hip crease back and ground into the big toe mound to straighten your leg (Beginners: Place the bottom hand on the thigh, shin, or ankle). If you lose your core connection, bend the knee slightly and play the edge of integration and expression here. Step 3: Unfurl your top, bound arm into full Triangle Pose. Now you’ve removed the obstacles (tight shoulders, compressed hip joints, a stiff neck) to your pose, let the freedom of your energy move through your entire body with each breath.

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You Better Work!

On Saturday, Seane Corn came to teach at my home studio: YogaWorks in SoHo, NYC. I’ve taken one workshop with her before and really enjoyed it. Plus, we see each other around on the conference circuit. So, since she was right in my ‘hood, I decided to enroll in her weekend classes on vinyasa sequencing. When I arrived on my mat, multiple people, some of them my regular students, came up to me with baffled looks on their faces. “Why are you here?” someone said, as if I had nothing left to learn. My answer was the same as it always is at moments like this: “I know what I know. I want to find out what I don’t know yet!” And I learned a lot, or as Seane might say, I remembered more of what I already know in her daylong sessions. I’m proud to show my students that my role as a teacher doesn’t mean that I’ve stopped being a student. Knowledge is fluid and always evolving, just like I am, and my teaching will mature and shift as I do. I refuse to hide my process of studentship for fear that my students will think I’m less of a teacher. I’m confident in my abilities and my unique perspectives on yoga, so I rest in my truth, and let others think what they will. It reminded me to remind you that life gets so much easier when you stop seeking approval from those around you and instead focus on accessing your deepest truth, or satya. If you lose your center the moment someone else has an unfavorable opinion of you, you’ll become everything for everyone, but very little of yourself. When I began teaching yoga, I would change the way I taught based on every student’s critique. In one month, it led me to teach faster, teach slower, talk less, talk more, make it easier, make it harder, and on and on. It was maddening, and my truth was lost in the quest to please everyone. Nowadays, I come into a workshop, speak my truth (which is not the only truth), give them a million percent of what my spirit is directing me to offer, and then I go home. Most people love it, a few think it’s pretty good, and there’s almost always one who can’t stand me.   And you know what? That’s OK. It used to bother me for days if I got negative feedback from someone. But as I teach more, I see that will always be the case, no matter how I change my message. So I stick to my core. Finally, I’ve learned to go into any classroom with one intention: I’m not here to cater…I’m here to teach. In your life, you can spend all your time and energy shape shifting to accommodate everyone’s needs or you can focus on living from your center. This is the exact moment when taking it personally transforms into the practice of giving it personally… …and you need no one’s stamp of approval but your own to do that. Core Question: Have you ever over-compromised your truth to please those around you? What happened when you decided to be fully yourself? Core Pose : Crossed Navasana with Fists of Fire This is one of my signature Core Poses. It’s meant to draw you out of your head and down into your center. Come into a cross-legged position like Sukhasana (Easy Pose). Place one foot in front of the other. Inhale, roll forward as you reach up, and lift the hips a few inches off the mat. Exhale, roll onto your sitting bones, engage the navel and low back in and up as you lift knees and feet higher. Repeat 5 to 10 times, then end in a forward fold from Easy Pose.

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Living Your Truth

It was a blissful 60 degrees in New York City this week. That may not sound like much to those of you from warmer places, but after the bitter cold of the past few weeks, it felt like summer around here. The emergence of lighter jackets and bare legs led my mind to the next natural progression: bikini season. My actual thought was, “Oh no! Bikini season’s almost here!” and then I laughed. Where did that reaction come from? First of all, I don’t wear a bikini, and second, if I was asked to, I could rock a two-piece with the best of them. That’s because I’ve been practicing yoga for 15 years, and it’s paid off in a physical way, as well as every other. I realized that our dharma, or life’s path, is a lot like bikini season, too. When we get on the yoga mat, we’re in training, preparing for the moments in life when we will be asked to step up, to reveal ourselves in some way, and to show our true self to the world. When those pivotal moments arrive in your life, will you be ready? Every yoga pose and each moment you feel challenged is an opportunity for you to step into your skin, become the most of yourself, and hold your center even in the midst of great intensity. When you can do this, your dharma–the things you are called to do, say, or be to fully express who you are–will become much more available to you. If you do the work, that is. Let’s say you’re a writer, but you never write your book. Then comes the day when you’re at a party and meet the head of Random House who wants to see your work, but you’ve got nothing to show on the outside for all your inner creativity. You’ve missed an exciting possibility, all because you hadn’t yourself dedicated to taking action. In the Yoga Sutras, the sage Patanjali asks us to commit to an ongoing spiritual practice, or abhyasa in Sanskrit. You can make your life into your abhyasa. You can learn from it, make it yours, and let it move you forward towards your life’s work. And by developing a consistent yoga routine and facing down Crow or Handstand each week, for example, we build the courage to step up. We dedicate ourselves to the work at hand with honesty and integrity, never knowing when we’ll be called into action. You know that saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears?” Well, get ready, in all the ways you can, and when your next teacher shows up–in the form of a wonderful relationship, a loved one’s illness, a new job, more (or less) money, and yes, even bikini season–you’ll have all the tools you need to rock it, too! Core Question : What can you do to commit more fully to your own dharma, or life’s work? Let us know how you plan to dedicate more time and energy to it! Core Pose: Crow Pose Preparation This pose will build the strength, balance, and bravery for Crow Pose, so when the teacher announces it in class, you’ll be ready to fly! Come into Malasana (Garland Pose), with your feet wide. Curl your torso inside the knees, and with bent elbows, plant your hands shoulder-distance apart. Lift your hips and knees higher, but bend your elbows lower and press your knees as high on the upper arms as you can. Lean forward until your chest floats out in front of the thumbs, and your gazing point makes a triangle with your hands. As you ground through your fingertips, hug your knees and elbows in, and lift strongly up through your core. Your feet should lighten off the floor. Next Step : Lift your heels towards the sitting bones and see how ready you already are for full Crow Pose !

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Rockin’ Your Abhyasa

According to Malcolm Gladwell (whose book “Outliers” I’m devouring right now), the people who are most successful in their fields, like Bill Gates, Canadian hockey stars, and top NYC lawyers, to name a few, all have one thing in common: They have each spent over 10,000 hours involved doing their craft. This isn’t the only indicator of what we in yoga would call “mastery,” but it’s a big one. Now, before I stumbled upon my first yoga class all those years ago, I was pretty close to reaching master status–in dysfunctional relationships. I’m certain I put in nearly 10,000 hours dealing with them, before yoga taught me to get clear about–and steer clear of–toxic partners. I spent the next 15 years quite differently, focusing most of my time and energy on comprehending what yoga meant to me, then clarifying how I could best share my Core Strength message with others. Whenever drama arose in my life, I used it to deepen my practice, not take me away from it. After reading the book, I calculated that I’ve spent about 32,000 hours practicing, translating and teaching yoga. I’m not seeking recognition, though that seems to be a byproduct of making myself accessible through mass media. To me, true success means that one has attained such a deep level of integration with what they’ve practiced that it becomes a part of them, and they can use it to more powerfully share their talents and voice with the world. But, just like the polarities of ha-tha or the sun and moon energies of yoga, developing a deep identification with an activity can become a negative samskara, (ingrained habitual actions). In other words, mastery can have a dark side. Those 10,000 hours can either help you attain your greatest goals–or hold you back from them. It all depends on what you’re practicing. Are you practicing health? Or misery? Today I invite you to notice where focusing the majority of your time, energy, and perspective and start a full-time job of mastering the thoughts, actions, and worldview that will serve you best. Core Question: What are you in the process of mastering? Anxiety? Negative thinking? Or maybe empowerment? Your life’s work? Crow Pose? Abundance thinking? Share your process, and inspire us by your example! Core Pose: Breath of Freedom Lunge — To throw off the weight of old, limiting habits and welcome in the new, come into a High Lunge. Inhale, reach your arms back, palms facing out. Exhale, curl your back and tailbone, tone your navel in, and embrace yourself for a job well done! Repeat 5 times or more, then switch sides.

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Mastery or Misery?

Gov. Robert F. McDonnell signed a

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Historic Legal Decision

California Pacific Medical Center is honoring one of our beloved yoga teachers. CPMC’s Institute for Health & Healing  has selected Matthew Sanford as the recipient of its Pioneer in Integrative Medicine Yoga Journal conference in Boston this April. Congrats, Matthew!

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Congrats to Matt!

This is my experience in a nutshell: The Ugandan culture is complex, confusing and contradictory.  Parts of it are endearing, warm and wonderful; others I can’t even begin to wrap my head around.   On this trip, the OTM Uganda Seva Challenge group traveled pretty extensively through the cities and countryside villages, and what grabbed me most is the resounding spirit of a resilient and strong Ugandan people.  I have witnessed extreme poverty, deadly pandemic disease, ungodly sanitation, as well as toxic air and water quality, yet wherever I went, I also noticed an underlying authentic joy, trust and a richness in community that I actually yearn for in my own community at home. That said, there is a very strange dynamic; a juxtaposition of customs and morals.  Some of what I’ve heard and observed that exemplifies this is below.     A local land owner and village community chairman (kind of like a Mayor) called Sam,  told our group about the incredible Central Ugandan customs and rituals to honor the dead.   Ugandans will often exhaust everything they have for funerals, even going without eating,  to honor their dead. There are days and days of sacred pomp and ceremony. As Sam explains the rituals, I am filled with a sense of awe.  I think: ‘Wow, in States its typically a 2 hour viewing, then a couple of songs, a prayer or two, a few kind words and done.” In contrast, I’m told that in Uganda there is stigma and dishonor in being widowed.  A widow is often chased off the land she rightfully inherits, and is forced to surrender everything after her husband dies. Another example. One of our amazing guides and guardians for this trip was an Ugandan man named Joseph.  He is the Country Director for Building Tomorrow, the international NGO  which builds schools for vulnerable children all over sub-Saharan Africa.   As our group was returning from an excursion one night, we noticed that for the most part local shopkeepers leave their goods outside rather than locking them up indoors.  Joseph explains that the goods left out won’t be stolen because there is a community agreement about stealing.  If the thief is caught, community members, not police, go after the perpetrators.  Men caught stealing are beaten, while a female thief is forced to walk down the street naked after community members rip the clothes off her back.  As he told me about the community agreement my first thought was:  “There is no way that anything left unguarded outside a store in LA or New York would be there the next morning, no way!” However, this is the same Uganda where it is common and customary for a woman to be a chased by a man and if she can outrun or outfight him, she wins her freedom, but, if he physically overcomes her, she is raped and forced to become his wife. One more.   The able-bodied men, woman and children of Gayaza Village sing and pray as they haul wheelbarrows, carry bricks on their heads, and build walls for their Building Tomorrow/OTM community school.  Again, I think: “In my town, this is done by a company that has little connection to the actual community. How incredibly cool would it be to have community members working on our local schools.” Yet, although up to 65% of people in communities like Gayaza Village have HIV, men, women and children known to have the disease are often humiliated, shunned and disgraced. Further still, this is the country that has introduced a law so punitive towards homosexuality that some human rights groups say that it would allow authorities to imprison and even kill homosexuals. Yes, this culture is complex, confusing and contradictory.  However, the more that I think about it, I recognize that there is a good probability that statement is true for all cultures. And then I re-member my yoga.  Yoga classes around the world often begin and end with the greeting Namaste’.  For me, namaste has become so much more than a nice word or greeting.  It is a way of being, a foundational way of life that invites me to find God in every moment, person, event or circumstance – even the complex, confusing and contradictory ones.    That’s what the mystics of old did and those of today do.   So that’s what I practice -  right here, right now – even though, I often can’t explain, don’t understand and many times don’t succeed.    However, in every cell of my being I know that in the words of one of my favorite teachers “everything happens exactly the way it is suppose to happen in order for our souls to transform.”  So I just keep doing what I know to do – practice.

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Complex, Confusing and Contradictory by Nikki Myers

After visiting the clinic, we spent the next 2 days at the construction site of the new birthing center, the very center each our donors contributed to when they donated to this project! It was very exciting to participate in building the center and to know that these women were going to have a beautiful place to go with plenty of clean water, brand new supplies, proper medicine and a comfortable place to rest while they are in labor and after they give birth. We learned how to make bricks and lay them. It was extremely hard work. They don’t have equipment like we do at home…everything is done the HARD WAY. My most touching moment at this sight was witnessing a 90 year old woman show up to hoe the garden. She didn’t speak any English but she came and sat down next to me, placed her hand in mine, and spoke to me. I learned that she had fallen down and hurt her leg. Her knee was swollen. She walked all the way from her home to the site and back every Wednesday to participate in this project. To put things in perspective, I was tired after working there for 2 hours and we were able to take a bus back to the hotel. This woman walked all the way back to her home with a hurt leg and in the intense heat after she worked all day. I was beside myself. I couldn’t help but to break down in tears. It has taken me 3 full days to move past that moment. Experiences like this challenge you on every level. They bring forward emotions like gratitude, joy, sorrow, grief, hope, shame, guilt, and so so so much love. I was absolutely humbled…and so thankful to have shared that time with her.  One of the most important parts about this trip is the yoga our group leaders Seane and Suzanne so graciously lead all 23 of us through first thing each morning. Many of you are wondering how I can be exposed to such circumstances day after day and be able to handle and process it accordingly. The answer to this question is the yoga practice. Each morning we are led through a series of movements which enable us to open our bodies, minds, and spirits. This is done in such a way that we are able to release our stored tension and bottled up emotions so that we are able to move into our day clear and open to the new experiences in store for us. At the end of most days we reconnect for group processing, which consists of 1-2 hours of sharing our experiences about what we are witnessing. The morning and evening gatherings are designed to help us work through our internal issues so that we can be as effective as possible out in the community. There are a lot of tears but with them an unfathomable amount of support available at all times. On February 13th we went to the New Hope School and Orphanage. I painted flouride on all of the kids teeth and it was adorable how willing they were to accept the treatment. There were about 80 kids at the orphanage, all HIV positive and from ages 7 months into their teens. The money raised for the orphanage went to new mattresses (all of the kids slept in stacked up bunk beds 3 high in one small room), a new water filtration system (because they had no clean water)…as well as a garden to grow food. We brought them tons of activities including paper and crayons, frisbees, books, soccer balls, stickers, jump ropes, etc… they were SO HAPPY and excited. They sang to us and played with us. We read them books, took and printed pictures for all of them, painted a mural on the wall, taught them yoga, and educated them about dental care. $150,000 of our fund raising went into that orphanage…money well spent. The interesting and very moving part about the orphanage was the manner in which the children engaged and disengaged with us. They wanted to be part of our group and the activities which we offered, but they were careful not to get too close to us because they are used to abandonment and the pain associated with it. In addition, they are used to a high turnover in teachers so they really don’t have a constant caretaker in their lives. Anyone who shows up eventually disappears. One child came and held my hand as we were walking through the grass. She looked up at me with hope in her eyes and asked if I was going to come back again. I had to tell her “no”. She looked down at the ground full of sadness. The children had blank stares on their faces when we were packing up to leave. We gave them a short burst of extreme love and happiness, only to have to leave them as they have been left many times before. This was very difficult for me to process. I contemplated whether or not our visit did more harm than good and it reminded me of the saying, “better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all”. All in all, I decided it was definitely better to have loved them for the short time we had!

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Shanti Uganda/ New Hope and Yoga by Jennifer Silvestri

I can barely feel my hands.  Today I helped birth a baby girl. I feel a very deep vibration. The image of 5 women holding one as she was going through the process of bringing a life into the world is one that is going to stay with me forever. The following is an excerpt of an email I wrote to my mom…I hope she doesn’t mind but its probably the most real reaction I am going to get down… I helped birth a baby today.  It made me want to talk to you. and when I say I helped birth a baby I mean I saw everything and was holding her leg when the baby came out.  It was the most intense thing ever.  I cried. It was so weird – there was no baby and then there she was all slimy and gross and crying and being manhandled and held upside down by her feet. The mom who was 17 years old and named Myriam was 8 centimeters when we arrived at the birthing center (um, I thought we were just going to be getting a tour) and she was in labour and we helped.  Sarah who is on the trip with us is an actual doula and there was a lady getting a c-section so she went in to help in that room and we (me heather and amanda) worked with our mom.  We held her hands and helped her walk around outside, tried to get her to stretch and squat, drink water. She was scared. Sarah had a wicked bag full of tricks…lotion and oils and stuff that really seemed to help but when it was time, well, right before the time time, she was on the floor and I had her head in my lap and my hands under her shoulders and there were 2 women on either side of her and we were all basically holding her.  She didn’t know us and we didn’t know her but I felt so connected to everyone…and everything.   It wasn’t pretty or easy but then there was a baby…I feel like my soul is vibrating a little. When we left mama was doing okay – she asked for a coke The whole thing made me think of you and I hope that you felt supported and safe when you were going through and that someone was holding your hand.  And that someone gave you a coke afterwards. So, I can’t seem to stop crying.  The reality of giving birth in Africa has many shocking things but I am going to leave this one here…

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There was no baby and then there was a baby by Davian Den Otter

The guy in town is happy that we are building Shanti Uganda.  He sells more nails.  The men from the village are happy that Shanti is being built.  They have jobs and new skills.  The women are happy that Shanti is being built.  They will have safe empowered births. Sam the neighbour is happy Shanti is being built. The price of property in the area has gone up. The entire community is fully stoked and supportive of the project.  And for me, its so tangible.  There in that building are all of the Tula Karma classes, all of the calendars, all of the birthday bags of cement…and we haven’t even been to the school site yet. We have accomplished the most amazing things.  All of us.  With all of you.  Together. Highlights were stomping in “mud” (debate rages on as to what the mud consisted of), ride on the boda boda with Heather (motorcycle, well, dirtbike-ish), making sculpture on the wall of the birth house with mud, and Seane teaching the men at the site yoga. We had a traditional lunch and dinnner…enthusiasm was waning slightly by this point for matoke and the g-nut sauce. The night finished with a spectacular sunset, and a starry night like only Africa can deliver.

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Ripples of Hope by Davian Den Otter

A few weeks ago, the YJ staff got a special treat when MC Yogi and Amanda Giacomini stopped by our offices to teach our daily staff yoga class. We don’t usually practice with music here in the offices–mostly because our yoga room is also our conference room and isn’t really set up with a sound system–so I’m always grateful when we have a teacher come in with her own iPod docking station. Of course, we would expect no less from the infamous, self procraimed yoga “unrapper” . . . who came with a big, shiny boom box in tow. Sure, I was skeptical of the whole yoga hip-hop thing at first, but now, I’ll admit it. I’m a fan. So I was thrilled to see his newest video posted to Huffington Post today. “It’s about being generous with ourselves with our hearts, with our time and with our energy,” he writes. “It affirms the universal principle of attraction. What we give is what we get.” Where do I sign up? MC Yogi – Give Love (Giving4Living Mix) from MC Yogi on Vimeo . So, that’s my yoga video pick of the day. I’d love to see some of your favorites in the comments section below!

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Give Love!

“Souls don’t have races or sexes or religions. They are beyond artificial divisions.”  Beliefs separate, loving thoughts unite us.  Today started off with intrigue, curiosity, excitement and ended with joy, yet sorrow.  The orphanage was built first with a vision, then came the passion, then it took strength to reach out and New Hope School and Orphanage was born.  The man who started it was Godfrey in 1997.  He started New Hope on his own.  The kids are street kids with no mothers or fathers and all have HIV.  New Hope provides a safe environment to educate, learn and thrive.  In order to do so it takes visitors like us, OTM, to raise money and support these children so they have clean water, food, shelter, and education.  OTM has helped this year by creating a water filtration system, supplying mattresses, school supplies and left a mural so dreams and the magic will and can continue. Leaving the school was hard for most of us. A feeling of sadness loomed when asked when will we return? The children of New Hope are thriving for love, support and just a hug. I hope I can go back and give each of them a hug.  I hope that other volunteers continue to build on this wonderful foundation. I am so humbled and honored to be part of these children’s lives.

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New Hope School by Carrie Herscovic

Today our OTM group left our hotel at 7:30 to head to below the mouth of the Nile to go river rafting.  As we headed out on our two hour drive, there was plenty of talking before most people settled into their own space.  The towns market signs kept me entertained during our journey. “Tasty Smokies”,”Ultimate Secretarial Bureau”, “Not for Sale, You Do it At Your Own Risk!”, “Yo Choice Restaurant”, “Open Happiness” (Coca-Cola), “Paint the Price and We Paint Your Dreams”,and finally, “We Strip the Facts Bare”, (The Independent) When we arrived at Adrift White Water Rafting, everyone was in high spirits as we signed our lives away legally and heard the safety lessons.  We then divided into groups, “Wild” and “Mild”.  Within our group there were definitely strong feelings on which group each of us wanted to be in. We each got a life jacket, a helmet, and an oar and met our guides.  As we descended to the edge of the Nile, some individuals confidence level did the same. We were directed to get into the boat and Suzanne and I took the helm,water warriors. Once in our boat, Sudu gave us instructions on how to steer the boat and prepare for different types of rapids.  We would be experiencing Class 2, 3, and 5 rapids.  When our group of learned the boat could tip over us and we could be under it, some of our group’s fears began to rise.  As we headed to the rapids, we fought the fears by describing other areas in our life that gave us strength: Mountain biking, sky diving, and being Yoga instructors.  Vulnerability played within us and one another’s devotion won.  We began.  On the first class 5, two of our teammates flipped out and we retrieved them quickly.  We enjoyed the class 2 and 3 rapids and endured the class 5’s. While our boat of women tackled the Nile white waters, one thing we couldn’t tackle was the dam that was being built in the very area we were riding through. We were told a man from Italy is buiding the dam to “give water to the entire country of Uganda” which is hard for our group to believe.  We were also told the World Bank is behind it from a financing standpoint which also saddened us.  None of us can understand how a group of men can consciously decide to destroy one of the world’s greatest rivers and the communities that depend on it.  Not an easy part of our journey to process.

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The Nile River by Tracey Campbell

We started the day with an inspirational yoga practice on the grass outside of our volunteer house.  We formed a circle with our mats and did a few sun salutations, standing poses, and backbends.  Seane called on some participants to bring their intention for the day into the circle.  Spirit flowed through each speaker.  At the end, we did call and response chanting with Suzanne.  I think the locals must be proud of our ability to sing and dance freely, with passion.  Most Ugandans believe that “mzungus” don’t know how to truly express themselves and are very entertained when they see us doing things like hard labor or walking in our barefeet. After breakfast we headed out to the new birth house.  We rode motorcycles there!!  The ride was INCREDIBLE!  I’ve never been on a motorcycle before and it was one of the best times of my life.  Here, they call the motorcycles “bodas,” and it’s the best way to travel around the villages.  People will often say, “I’m going on a boda boda.”  It’s my new favorite thing. When we arrived we were split into small groups to rotate around the facility, learning about the different aspects that go into creating the birth house.  We literally laid the brick.  This is exactly what I told my donors I would be doing, so I was very happy.  We stomped in the dirt and water with our bare feet to make it soft and muddy, and then we laid the mud thickly on the foundation and stacked bricks on top.  We left a little space between each brick for more mud, and really packed it all in.  I marvel at the fact that just a few months ago, this land was covered in jungle.  Now buildings stand half finished and roads are cleared.  There were no bulldozers to do the job, simply strong hands.  I am still grasping the fact that our money is funding the creation of this sacred place. When we took a break for lunch, I split from the group to sit with Joseph, our driver.  I really love talking with Ugandan people.  Joseph is so nice and welcoming, always a big smile on his face, happy to see us.  We talked about the differences in Ugandan and U.S. culture.  I’ve found that no one really judges the U.S.; they are simply interested and often surprised.  Joseph asked me how many children I want to have and I said, “One.  Or two at the very most.”  He thought that was crazy and asked if there was a law in the U.S. that said people couldn’t have more than two.  He thinks I should have 5 or 6!  He asked how many siblings I have and I said I was the only one.  He was shocked and said it must be harder for me to get married.  I asked why he thought this and he said, “Since you are the only one, it will be hard for your parents to give you away.”  In Uganda, men still pay a dowry for their wives and own her as property.  Joseph told me his father died when he was young, and when his mother re-married the new husband kicked Joseph out of the house because he was another man’s son.  He moved to Kampala, but still considers his village home.  His mother’s husband recently passed away, so Joseph can now go back on holidays to visit his mom.  Joseph says I should stay and live in Uganda.  He has become a great friend in only four short days.  He is always making sure I’ve had enough to eat, and always concludes that I never eat enough. After lunch we went on a walking tour with Sam, a neighbor to the birth center.  His family owns a lot of the land surrounding the site.  He showed us his home, his father’s home, and his grandfather’s home.  In 1982 there was a war in this part of the country that lasted for five years (separate from the war in the north) and Sam’s family was forced to leave.  When the war ended, they returned and all of their homes were still intact.  He showed us his family’s graveyard–at least 20 long tombstones populated the area.  Sam explained that Ugandan’s take burial very seriously.  People must be buried with their families, and a woman is always buried with her husband’s family since he bought her.  Sam does not necessarily believe that this is the only way things should be in the world.  He simply states that this is the way it is in Uganda and has always been.  He was a very loveable man. After our long day of work at the site, I was feeling EXHAUSTED!  I was dangerously close to not going back for the evening party with the women due to a severe headache.  I drank three bottles of water, took some ibuprofen and was good to go.  As soon as we arrived, there was singing and dancing.  The children were shaking their hips like mad and skipping around in circles with us.  There was a big bond-fire in the center of the site and as the sun slowly set, it became our only light.  The sunset was absolutely beautiful- exactly as I imagined it should be- sinking slowly beyond the African trees as the stars came out, one by one.  The night sky is brilliant in the middle of a remote village, and it brought tears to my eyes.  I had one of those “I-can’t-believe-I’m-in-Africa” moments. I played with an adorable little girl most of the evening.  My tongue was red from the powder I added to my water for hydration, and she wanted a red tongue too, so she took the second half of my bottle and drank it, sticking out her tongue periodically so I could confirm her mouth was red too.  I tried to teach her to touch her tongue to her nose, but she didn’t quite get that one.  She walked around with my bottle for the rest of the evening, proud of her red mouth. Tonight is our last night in Kasana.  Mosquito net here I come.

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Shanti Uganda Day Two by Megan Ridge